Some people think that the media should be for entertainment only, while others believe that media should have educational values. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In today’s society, the

media

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is favoured by many

people

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One

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can assert that it is a

way

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for

entertainment

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

one

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can argue that it should be used for education. Personally, I agree to a certain extent that

media

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should have educational aspects,

however

Linking Words

media

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also

Linking Words

a powerful tool used to entertain us.

To begin

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with,

media

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serves as an important

way

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to entertain

people

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as they are able to play

games

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through

media

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which

consider

Wrong verb form

is considered

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

fun

Change preposition

from

show examples

their perspective.

For instance

Linking Words

, there are various video game platforms

such

Linking Words

clash royale

Correct your spelling

Clash Royale

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and

candy crush saga

Correct your spelling

Candy Crush Saga

show examples

which are popular

games

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played by

people

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Change preposition

show examples

any age. The majority of

people

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play

games

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when they are bored which is a

way

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to find happiness when playing

games

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However

Linking Words

one

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can argue that the

media

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should be used to educate as there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

educational news

such

Linking Words

anti–bullying

Add a hyphen

anti-bullying

show examples

news which

educate

Change the verb form

educates

show examples

them to treat their peers with respect.

Therefore

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although

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we can argue that

media

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leads to a gain in knowledge,

one

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can advocate that it is a

way

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to find joy.

Furthermore

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one

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can assert that

media

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should be for

entertainment

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only because they can interact with

people

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For example

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, social

media

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are used to bond

people

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together where they can meet new friends and chat with them which

entertain

Correct subject-verb agreement

entertains

show examples

themselves and others.

On the other hand

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one

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can refute the idea that

media

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should

also

Linking Words

be used for education as there might be

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

show examples

TV shows which allow them to develop

understandings

Fix the agreement mistake

understanding

show examples

towards maths subjects in school.

As a result

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, educational elements are vital

Change preposition

show examples

media

Use synonyms

Nevertheless

Linking Words

one

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can dismiss that

media

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should

also

Linking Words

be a

way

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to educate,

one

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can agree that

media

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should only be for

entertainment

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. In conclusion, it is essential to have both educational values and

entertainment

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But

Correct word choice

However

show examples

I believe that educating

people

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through

media

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is more important as the benefits

outweighs

Change the verb form

outweigh

show examples

the drawbacks.

cherrychan926Mon Jul 22 2024

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lexical resource

Try to use more precise vocabulary and avoid repetition for a higher score.

grammatical range and accuracy

Work on using a wider range of sentence structures to improve your grammatical range and accuracy.

task response

Develop main points further to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which contributes positively to its overall coherence.

task achievement

You have addressed both views and included your own opinion, which is crucial for task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The overall structure of the essay is logical and paragraphing is well-managed.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Some people state that schools should have a social responsibility to encourage children not to eat junk food. Others believe that parents should take responsibility for their children's eating habits. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

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