Some people think that the media should be for entertainment only, while others believe that media should have educational values. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In today’s society, the
media
is favoured by many
people
.
One
can assert that it is a
way
for
entertainment
,
while
one
can argue that it should be used for education. Personally, I agree to a certain extent that
media
should have educational aspects,
however
,
media
is
also
a powerful tool used to entertain us.
To begin
with,
media
serves as an important
way
to entertain
people
as they are able to play
games
through
media
which
consider
Wrong verb form
is considered
show examples
as
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apply
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fun
in
Change preposition
from
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their perspective.
For instance
, there are various video game platforms
such
as
clash royale
Correct your spelling
Clash Royale
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and
candy crush saga
Correct your spelling
Candy Crush Saga
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which are popular
games
played by
people
at
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of
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any age. The majority of
people
play
games
when they are bored which is a
way
to find happiness when playing
games
.
However
,
one
can argue that the
media
should be used to educate as there
are
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is
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educational news
such
as
anti–bullying
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anti-bullying
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news which
educate
Change the verb form
educates
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them to treat their peers with respect.
Therefore
,
although
we can argue that
media
leads to a gain in knowledge,
one
can advocate that it is a
way
to find joy.
Furthermore
,
one
can assert that
media
should be for
entertainment
only because they can interact with
people
.
For example
, social
media
are used to bond
people
together where they can meet new friends and chat with them which
entertain
Correct subject-verb agreement
entertains
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themselves and others.
On the other hand
,
one
can refute the idea that
media
should
also
be used for education as there might be
problem solving
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problem-solving
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TV shows which allow them to develop
understandings
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understanding
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towards maths subjects in school.
As a result
, educational elements are vital
on
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in
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media
.
Nevertheless
,
one
can dismiss that
media
should
also
be a
way
to educate,
one
can agree that
media
should only be for
entertainment
. In conclusion, it is essential to have both educational values and
entertainment
.
But
Correct word choice
However
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I believe that educating
people
through
media
is more important as the benefits
outweighs
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outweigh
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the drawbacks.
Submitted by cherrychan926 on

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lexical resource
Try to use more precise vocabulary and avoid repetition for a higher score.
grammatical range and accuracy
Work on using a wider range of sentence structures to improve your grammatical range and accuracy.
task response
Develop main points further to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which contributes positively to its overall coherence.
task achievement
You have addressed both views and included your own opinion, which is crucial for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical and paragraphing is well-managed.

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