Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from home and more children will study from home, as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accesible . Do you think this will be a positive or negative development.

#world #adults #work #home #children #study #computer #technology #accesible #development

Working and studying from home by using

computers

is increasing with low cost that

computers

are easy to access in future. I believe that it is a negative situation and will have some dangers for humans

first,

using too much of

computers

can damage the social relationships of

people

Second,

the health of

people

can be affected.

Firstly

, being in touch with

computers

more than enough easily damages

people

's communication. It means that when

people

are in their homes and are working and studying on their

computers

can not

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

any

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

communicate with other

people

and

after

Change preposition

apply

show examples

sometimes their ability to have relationships with others decreases because they were alone for a long time.

For example

, a man who is working in a big company can easily communicate with customers and his colleagues because he always does it and it is very common for him but a man who is working from home can not do it because he always is at home.

Secondly

, sitting and using

computers

for a long time can have a negative effect on the physical health of the human body. Because using

computers

needs sitting for hours on chairs can damage

people

's bodies. A healthy human has to work out to have a good and strong body and sitting can not do it for

people

they

also

might create some pain in their back and absolutely their eyes weaken when they look at the monitor too much.

For example

, a person who is sitting for a long time has a weaker body than others who are doing some workout around a day. In

onclusion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

people

have to be social and have physical activity to be more healthy and have some relationships to have a better life and working and studying by computer can not give them

this

apportunity

Correct your spelling

opportunity

Submitted by TUTOO on Mon Jul 22 2024

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task achievement

To improve task response, ensure that all main points are thoroughly detailed and supported with relevant examples. Currently, some sections could benefit from more elaboration. For example, discuss further how working from home specifically impacts social interactions and provide a more detailed scenario for better understanding.

task achievement

Work on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity. For example, rephrase the sentence 'A healthy human has to work out to have a good and strong body and sitting can not do it for people they also might create some pain in their back and absolutely their eyes weaken when they look at the monitor too much.' to 'A healthy individual needs to exercise regularly to maintain a strong body. Prolonged sitting can lead to back pain and weakened eyesight from excessive screen time.'

coherence cohesion

Improve paragraph cohesion by using linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas. Phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Moreover' can help provide a smoother transition between points.

coherence cohesion

Work on the conclusion to make it more effective and aligned with the main points discussed in the body. Summarize the key points and offer a final thought or recommendation.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction is clear and provides a direct outline of what the essay will discuss.

supported main points

The essay addresses both the social and health impacts of working and studying from home, covering two distinct areas effectively.

supported main points

The essay makes valid points regarding the impact of technology on social relationships and health, which are well-founded.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from home and more children will study from home, as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accesible . Do you think this will be a positive or negative development.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right.

some people believe that taxing is best way to reduce the industrial pollution.While some suggest there are several other ways to solve this trouble. Discuss both the views and give you opinion.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+