IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The increasing trend of buying second-hand clothes and items is a positive development for society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#trend #clothes #items #development #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays people use
clothes
Use synonyms
 to express their personality by showing their style. There are a lot of options
such
Linking Words
 as second-hand shops and flea
markets
Use synonyms
. In the
fashion
Use synonyms
 industry, second-hand shops are getting more popular
around
Change preposition
among
show examples
 fashionistas and increasing the number of benefits for the environment in general. First of all, the second-hand market provides benefits for the environment
such
Linking Words
 as reducing waste and conservation of resources. Using the services of second-hand
clothes
Use synonyms
 helps to reduce the large amount of waste that couldn’t be recycled.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, decreasing the demand for buying new products contributes to conscious materials.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the popularity of
fashion
Use synonyms
 and social media influences make us addicted to new trends so there might be a social stigma for people who like to wear second-hand
clothes
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
fashion
Use synonyms
 industry creates seasonal trends rapidly so the lifetime of
clothes
Use synonyms
 decreases for a week.
However
Linking Words
, the issue of reduction in fast
fashion
Use synonyms
 exists. By choosing the option
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 buying things in second-hand stores and flea
markets
Use synonyms
 customers contributed to reducing the harmful effects of fast
fashion
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, second-hand
markets
Use synonyms
 contain vintage items that offer affordable prices for luxury goods and unique items which encourage individual expressions and diversity in
fashion
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the
fashion
Use synonyms
 industry develops in comprehensive ways so customers can find what they need. As for me, I prefer to use flea
markets
Use synonyms
 to find something offbeat to look stylish and attract attention.
Submitted by polinaukhalova.my on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider elaborating more on how second-hand shopping benefits the environment, providing specific examples or statistics to strengthen your argument. For instance, mention the reduction in carbon footprint or water consumption.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, the paragraph on social stigma could be better integrated to follow logically from the environmental benefits discussed earlier.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and provides a clear perspective on the trend of second-hand shopping.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a personal touch that makes it relatable and engaging.
task achievement
Main points are well-supported with logical reasons, particularly the environmental benefits and the impact on fast fashion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: