In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the popluation in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In Pakistan, many

people

Use synonyms

from interior Sindh and Punjab are moving to urban cities like Karachi and Lahore. The migration of

people

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is decreasing the population in the

coutryside

Correct your spelling

countryside

This

Linking Words

is a positive development in Pakistan. Pakistan's economy

Wrong verb form

has been

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struggling in the past 10 years, especially

it's

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its

show examples

agricultural sector.

Change preposition

show examples

the countryside of

Paksitan

Correct your spelling

Pakistan

, earning

opportunites

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opportunities

exist only in farming, cropping and harvesting activities. Unfortunately, there are no investments being made in

this

Linking Words

sector

due to

Linking Words

which there is a lack of

innnovation

Correct your spelling

innovation

and development, leaving

people

Use synonyms

with less opportunity to earn in the

coutryside

Correct your spelling

countryside

, where survival is

dificult

Correct your spelling

difficult

in times of high inflation. On the other side, there are opportunities for

labor

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labour

show examples

to work in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

urban cities, where the

constuction

Correct your spelling

construction

industry is active. Investments are being pumped in resulting in

construction

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the construction

show examples

of a large number of high rises.

This

Linking Words

is an appealing opportunity for the uneducated

people

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in the countryside to move to urban cities for a better life. The government officials think that it is the right decision to support the construction industry so that the country's GDP grows fast. The influx of

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

force from

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

will help in the growth of GDP.

hudibaiqbalMon Jul 22 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt and provides examples relevant to Pakistan, which is excellent. To improve further, make sure to expand on your points and provide a more balanced view. Consider discussing potential drawbacks of the rural-urban migration.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical flow, but it can be enhanced by creating clear paragraphs for each main idea. Linking sentences and using transition words will help in making the essay more cohesive.

coherence cohesion

While the main points are supported with examples, a stronger introduction and a proper conclusion will strengthen your essay. Introduce the main ideas briefly in the introduction and summarize them with a strong concluding statement.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant examples specific to Pakistan, which enhances the task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The essay logically discusses the economic opportunities in urban areas versus rural areas, supporting the main points clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

197 words

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In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the popluation in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Employers should give their staff at least a 4- week holiday a year to make employees better at their jobs. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In today’s world of advanced science and technology, we still greatly value our artists such as musicians, painters and writers. What can arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.