In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the popluation in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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In Pakistan, many
people
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from interior Sindh and Punjab are moving to urban cities like Karachi and Lahore. The migration of
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is decreasing the population in the
coutryside
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countryside

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.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a positive development in Pakistan. Pakistan's economy
is
Wrong verb form
has been

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb is. Consider changing it.

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struggling in the past 10 years, especially
it's
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its

The word it's doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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agricultural sector.
On
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In

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the countryside of
Paksitan
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Pakistan

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, earning
opportunites
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opportunities

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exist only in farming, cropping and harvesting activities. Unfortunately, there are no investments being made in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

sector
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

which there is a lack of
innnovation
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innovation

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and development, leaving
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with less opportunity to earn in the
coutryside
Correct your spelling
countryside

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, where survival is
dificult
Correct your spelling
difficult

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in times of high inflation. On the other side, there are opportunities for
labor
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labour

The spelling of labor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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to work in
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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urban cities, where the
constuction
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construction

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industry is active. Investments are being pumped in resulting in
construction
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the construction

The noun phrase construction seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of a large number of high rises.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is an appealing opportunity for the uneducated
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in the countryside to move to urban cities for a better life. The government officials think that it is the right decision to support the construction industry so that the country's GDP grows fast. The influx of
labor
Change the spelling
labour

The spelling of labor is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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force from
countryside
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the countryside

The noun phrase countryside seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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will help in the growth of GDP.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt and provides examples relevant to Pakistan, which is excellent. To improve further, make sure to expand on your points and provide a more balanced view. Consider discussing potential drawbacks of the rural-urban migration.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, but it can be enhanced by creating clear paragraphs for each main idea. Linking sentences and using transition words will help in making the essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
While the main points are supported with examples, a stronger introduction and a proper conclusion will strengthen your essay. Introduce the main ideas briefly in the introduction and summarize them with a strong concluding statement.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples specific to Pakistan, which enhances the task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay logically discusses the economic opportunities in urban areas versus rural areas, supporting the main points clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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