In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

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In certain nations, despite a decline in severe crime rates, there is a growing sense of insecurity among the populace. The main reasons behind these are because of cyberbullying and scamming issues that are becoming trends nowadays. The most viable solutions are to not overshare information on social

media

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and report to authorities immediately.

Firstly

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, cyberbullying is one of the most common crimes these days and it usually occurs through social

media

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platforms.

Thus

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, the victims of cyberbullying are mainly young adults. It brings a lot of detrimental consequences because it could affect their mental health and lead them to unalive themselves.

For example

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, several Korean singers attempted suicide in 2022

due to

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the hate they received on social

media

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Additionally

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, the prevalence of fraudulent activities has reached alarming levels.

In contrast

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this

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issue frequently happens among middle-aged citizens as they lack a sense of cyber security. To tackle these issues, one effective strategy is to educate people about social

media

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etiquette.

This

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would ensure that people are not oversharing on social

media

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, especially confidential information like home address and phone number, or leaving hate comments on anyone’s posts.

Moreover

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, another solution is to report to the authorities if your information has been leaked by fraud.

For instance

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, the Malaysian Communication and Multimedia Commission (MCMC) is a regulatory body whose key role is the regulation of the communications and multimedia industry. In conclusion, online harassment and scammers are the main factors why residents do not feel secure anymore.

However

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, educating everyone about online usage and bringing to the attention of authorities if there are any issues can be effective solutions to address these problems.

maisarahamirah16Mon Jul 22 2024

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task response

The essay successfully addresses the task, identifying and explaining two main causes for the perceived insecurity despite decreasing crime rates. It also proposes viable measures to combat these issues. To further enhance the Task Response, include more specific evidence or examples, perhaps from more countries, to support your claims.

coherence cohesion

The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, improving transitions between paragraphs could make the essay even more cohesive. Adding linking phrases or words can help in this regard.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are very clear, setting the stage for your arguments and summarizing them effectively.

task response

Your essay covers relevant examples, such as the case of Korean singers and the Malaysian Communication and Multimedia Commission (MCMC), which support your arguments well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

availability heuristic
media coverage
misinformation
urbanization
community cohesion
justice system
economic inequality
community policing
media literacy
surveillance
swift justice
social cohesion
neighborhood watch
deterrent

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In some countries, even though the rates of serious crimes are decreasing, people feel less safe than ever before. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to solve it?

Your opinion

Some people believe that zoos where animals are kept in man-made environment should no longer exist in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

It is inevitable that traditional cultures will be lost as technology develops. Technology and traditional cultures are incompatible. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

Nowadays, traffic is a serious problem in big cities. Why this is so and what effects does it bring?

Would you prefer to live in a traditional house or in a modern apartment building? Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause?What are the solutions?