Some people believe that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, believe that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sports
have become a
corner stone
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cornerstone
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for many people as a source of entertainment and shaping bodies with a fit construction. For these reasons, lots of countries have condensed their efforts to provide facilities and so-called
well
Change the adverb
good
show examples
infrastructure for various clubs to train sportsmen.
Moreover
, they have ignored the majority of people who have the right to participate and play effectively. On
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
personal level,
this
trend could have only positive and negative regulations in equal measures, and
this
essay will explore both sides. On the one hand, some countries have tried to invest in their individuals and their minds, particularly athletes and amateurs.
Nevertheless
, many organizations have been established to qualify champions for international competitions. These
centers
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centres
show examples
,
however
, aim to provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suitable communities for those to get their best and win. But they compensate only the professionals' abilities
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and ignore the majority of people.
For instance
, the Egyptian
union
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Union
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of
sports
Capitalize word
Sports
show examples
organize many events for football players, and the
performance
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performances
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
only between
the
Correct article usage
apply
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famous teams
such
as el-ahly
as well as
el-zamalek. Some concerns,
on the other hand
, could be in permitting some and banning
the
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apply
show examples
others. In terms of energy outlets,
practice
Wrong verb form
practising
show examples
your
favorite
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favourite
show examples
sports
would be the perfect
solutions
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solution
show examples
. Despite the regulations and safety measures, I believe that it would be wrong and impossible to put limits and obligations that block some individuals
to release
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from releasing
show examples
their energy.
Additionally
, these boundaries appear clearly in preparing the public places for the citizens to undergo various exercises.
For example
, the Egyptian government is deeply interested in arranging marathons for all to run. To stand with a concrete conclusion, I would argue that public places should be
variously-ordered
Correct your spelling
variously ordered
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with so-called appropriate equipment to facilitate
sports
availabilities, so I would recommend
to take
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taking
show examples
firm consequences regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
these issues.
Submitted by Mido  on

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your arguments by providing more specific examples and ensuring that each point is clearly linked back to the main topic. This will make your essay more convincing and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Work on connecting sentences and paragraphs more seamlessly. Using transitional words and phrases will help your ideas flow better, making your essay more coherent and cohesive.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is strong and sets the stage for the discussion well. It provides a clear overview of the topic and indicates the structure of your essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have included a variety of perspectives and have attempted to discuss both sides of the argument, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
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