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Band 6

Parents should spend more time with their children helping them with their homework. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #time #children #homework
People have different views about how
school
-age
kids
 do their homework.
While
 there is a positive impact of allowing
kids
 to do their
class
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 by themselves, families should assist teenagers to complete their homework. I completely agree that careers need to allocate
time
 with their
kids
 to assist with their assignments.
To begin
 with, youth who get help from their family in completing their
school
activity
 might achieve their goal than their counterparts.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that they easily interact with their family, which increases their
school
 achievement.
However
,
children
 who might not be offered
time
 by family to do their
class
activity
 might not obtain enough scores to pass the
class
 because they may be afraid to ask easy questions to their teacher.
For example
, a recent study of the influence of parents on
children
's academic performance reported that
children
 who spend more
time
 with their family are more likely to score higher marks in science compared to those who spend less
time
 with their parents. On the same side, families who devote their
time
 to assisting their
children
 to perform their assignments
able
Add a missing verb
are able
show examples
 to follow their kid's progress in different subjects.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, career who do not allocate
time
 for their
kids
 would not be able to know how their
kids
 progressing in
school
.
For instance
, families who daily see their young people's
class
activity
 and how their performance. In conclusion, some people argue that youth should do their
school
 exercises by themselves. I believe that family must allocate
time
 to help their
children
 in performing their homework exercises.
Submitted by ttesfalove on

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coherence
Clarify specific examples and how they support each argument, ensuring examples directly link to the points being made.
task
Expand on arguments to make them more comprehensive. For instance, discuss potential counterarguments and why you still hold your perspective.
cohesion
Use varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance readability and engagement.
task
Your introduction sets a clear stance and provides a roadmap for the essay.
task
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and aligns with your introduction.
coherence
You have utilized research to support your claims, which strengthens your argument.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • parental involvement
  • academic development
  • parent-child relationship
  • supported and encouraged
  • confidence and independence
  • educational strategies
  • autonomous learning
  • foster a love for learning
  • tailored interventions
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