IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are studying English at a private language school attended by many international students. You are planning a surprise birthday party for a friend who has been feeling particularly sad and homesick. Write to another classmate and invite him/her to the party. In your letter: explain the reason for the party give the date and time of the party suggest what the classmate could bring to the party Write at least 150 words

#english #language #school #students #surprise #birthday #party #friend #classmate #reason #date #time
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Dear Jay, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to invite you to attend the party which I am going to organise the next weekend. Because Devarsh is far from his family and his
birthday
Use synonyms
 coming, he might feel alone on that day, so it is a great idea to become part of his happiness which can make his
birthday
Use synonyms
 memorable. Because we have an exam on his
birthday
Use synonyms
, I have planned to celebrate his
birthday
Use synonyms
 on the next day of his
birthday
Use synonyms
 which is 7th July and the party time would start at 7:00 P.M.
However
Linking Words
, I have arranged all the necessary things but, the only
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 left are snakes and cooldrinks and please bring a card to play at the party. Looking forward to hearing from you. Regards, Ankit
Submitted by ap064911 on

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task achievement
Be careful of minor grammatical errors, such as 'organise' should be 'organizing', 'snakes' should be 'snacks', and 'cooldrinks' should be 'cool drinks'.
task achievement
Try to elaborate a bit more on how Devarsh has been feeling and why the party will help him. This will provide a more complete response to the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph conveys a single clear idea. For example, combining the reasons for the party with the date and time information in one paragraph can be split into two.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are appropriately used, adding a polite tone to the letter.
logical structure
The logical structure of the letter is clear, with a defined introduction, body, and conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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