IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The charts indicate the changes in the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
 and
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of
hours
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
 each week in
households
Use synonyms
 in one nation from 1920 to 2019. In general, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with Washing machines, Refrigerators, and
Vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaners saw a rising trend.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
 declined. Looking at the information for more detail, in 1920, the Refrigerator was the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
 at nearly 5 per
cent
Use synonyms
. The Washing machine accounted for nearly 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 and the
Vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner for nearly 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
. Refrigerator overtook
Vacuum
Use synonyms
cleaner
Fix the agreement mistake
cleaners
show examples
 in 1940 and surpassed Washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 in 1960. On the one hand, the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
 each week in
households
Use synonyms
 steadily decreased from 1920 to 2109. Especially, the figure for
hours
Use synonyms
 of
housework
Use synonyms
 each week between 1920 and 2019 remained stable during
this
Linking Words
 period. After that,
Refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
Refrigerators
show examples
 was the most
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
 in 1980.
Then
Linking Words
, the
Vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner became 100 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
 in 2000.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, households, appliances, hours, housework, vacuum, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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