Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #place #st #century #waste #resources

The view that wild

animals

are not necessary in the 21st century has recently begun to gain popularity.

This

essay completely disagrees with

this

opinion, because of the biological food chain and scientific importance of wild

animals

Firstly

, wild

animals

play a crucial role in maintaining ecological balance. They contribute

seed

Change preposition

to seed

show examples

dispersal, processes vital for agriculture and ecosystem health.

For instance

, the decline of bee populations

due to

habitat loss has had a significant impact on crop yields globally. Protecting these creatures is a necessity for human survival and food security.

Secondly

, wild

animals

possess educational value beyond their ecological functions. They enrich our lives through recreation,inspiration, and scientific research. Wildlife tourism generates substantial revenue for many economies, supporting local communities and conservation efforts.

Moreover

, the study of animal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

and biology has led to vital medical advancements.

Submitted by zerdeteacher2024 on Mon Jul 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

While the essay does well in presenting the main points, it would benefit from a clearer and stronger conclusion to enhance the overall coherence.

coherence cohesion

The introduction effectively presents the topic, but a more comprehensive thesis statement would improve clarity and engagement.

task achievement

Introduce more specific examples and data to support the arguments. This would strengthen the relevance and impact of the points made.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt clearly and presents a coherent argument against the notion that wild animals are unnecessary.

task achievement

The arguments regarding ecological balance and scientific importance are well-chosen and relevant.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure is evident, with paragraphs flowing well from one main point to another.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

138 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Young people are often influenced by their peers.Do the advantages of pressure outweigh the disadvantages.

Olympic games very very important and respected in the past. However, some people say that technological improvements have reduced the importance of Olympic games in this 21st-century do you agree or disagree with this

Online education is becoming more popular. Is this a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

A large income is much more important than being satisfied at work. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.