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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the Sahara desert or Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

#tourists #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctica #visit
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The ascending trend of
people
 travelling to extreme landscapes has sparked heated arguments about whether it is worth it or not. Personally, I think the advantages of exploring untamed places like the Sahara desert or Antarctica outweigh the disadvantages in many different ways including unique experiences and economic development of the area. There are compelling reasons why
people
 stand against choosing off-the-grid places for vacations, hard conditions are the foremost reason that pose a particular risk to tourists. Extreme weather
such
 as sand storms, high heat waves or frigid temperatures can lead to health decline
along with
 various small inconveniences like common fatigue and dehydration. A prime example of
this
 is the truck which carried 44
people
 broke down in the vast, isolated Sahara desert in 2017;
consequently
 leaving them with death sentences
due to
 thirst and hunger.
This
 unfortunate event has somehow proven the harsh conditions of these extreme landscapes, causing multiple critical attitudes flooding towards them.
On the other hand
, tourism has made a great impact on improving the economic status of the locals and in exchange, unique experiences are given back. The adrenaline rush
while
 challenging ourselves and learning how to survive in the wilderness are the well-earned gifts that arouse excitement in tourists, not only thrill-seekers.
For instance
, tourists can have the chance to capture breathtaking sights
such
 as sand dunes, rugged mountains, and icebergs; or even take part in outdoor activities like camel trekking, dune bashing, snowboarding and so on.
Additionally
, African countries which are facing financial difficulties
such
 as Nigeria, Ghana and Libya can make profits from tourism every year. As long as
people
 still feel the urge for adventure, the government will make sure to build more facilities and promote tourism in their nation.
While
 hard conditions can discourage
people
 from visiting new locations, many of them still believe in those extreme journeys that will change their perspective and give them one-in-a-lifetime experiences. By that means, the benefits of travelling to outlandish regions can be seen to outweigh its drawbacks.
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task achievement
Consider expanding on the specific hardships tourists might face in extreme conditions. Doing so will add depth to your discussion and strengthen your argument about the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraph transitions are smooth, which will help the overall flow of your essay and make it more cohesive.
task achievement
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages of visiting extreme locations, offering a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The introduction lays a clear foundation for what the essay will discuss, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the argument.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the Sahara incident in 2017, effectively illustrate the points discussed and add credibility to the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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