The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
Adults mostly have
specific
Add an article
a specific
opinion
on Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
lifestyle
of humans Add an article
the lifestyle
a lifestyle
while
the
part of Correct article usage
apply
the
society Correct article usage
apply
consider
those opinions unnecessary in raising Change the verb form
considers
kids
of this
century. I strongly agree with this
idea of changing methods in terms of educational matters due to
transformation
of the current world and the need for an individual approach for youngsters.
Obviously, Correct article usage
the transformation
evolving
digital era influences Correct article usage
the evolving
behavior
and perspective of young people compared to Correct article usage
the behavior
older
generation. Parents might be worried about Add an article
the older
an older
negative
effects of the internet towards children’s mental health. Correct article usage
the negative
However
, fostering kids
without online resources restricts young minds from an opportunity of exploring
and Change preposition
to explore
learning
about what is happening in Wrong verb form
learn
world
. As an example, Add an article
the world
kids
that
are actively online on Correct pronoun usage
who
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
phone
or Fix the agreement mistake
phones
laptop
easily communicate with other individuals and are able Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
quickly
find the latest news.
Fix the infinitive
to quickly
Moreover
, different treatment for each kid needed
since every person is unique. Surely, methods applied decades ago do not work on children of Add a missing verb
is needed
new
generation and every family Correct article usage
the new
raise
their offspring relying on family values and in conditions that differ. Correct subject-verb agreement
raises
For example
, some families cook dinner together or spend time in the
nature, which helps a child to be responsible and take care of nature.
Correct article usage
apply
To conclude
, it is essential to use new methods of fostering for
Change preposition
apply
kids
because of
the world Change preposition
apply
that
changes fast and Correct pronoun usage
apply
uniqueness
of each child.Correct article usage
the uniqueness
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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing how traditional ideas may not be helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. However, while the main points are clear, they could be more comprehensively developed. For instance, the impact of the digital era on behavior is introduced but not deeply explored.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider further elaborating on your main points and provide clearer examples. Transitions between paragraphs are generally clear, but improving the flow within paragraphs would also strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and succinct, effectively framing your argument. This contributes positively to the overall coherence of your essay.
logical structure
The essay provides a logically structured response to the prompt, with each paragraph appropriately supporting the main argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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