It is the responsibility of individuals to save and provide for their own retirement. Governments have no obligation to provide this benefit. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

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The question of whether individuals bear sole responsibility for their

retirement

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savings

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, without government intervention, is a contentious issue.

While

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some argue that personal financial planning should suffice, I contend that

governments

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have a crucial role in ensuring

retirement

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security through policies and safety nets. On one hand, proponents of individual responsibility argue that people should prioritize saving and investing to secure their

retirement

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years. They advocate for personal financial literacy and disciplined

savings

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habits as effective means to build sufficient

retirement

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funds.

For instance

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, in countries like the United States and Australia, where private

retirement

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accounts

such

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as 401(k) and superannuation funds are prevalent, individuals are encouraged to take charge of their financial futures through voluntary contributions and investment decisions.

This

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approach fosters a sense of autonomy and accountability among citizens regarding their

retirement

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planning.

However

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, relying solely on individual efforts overlooks societal complexities and disparities. Many individuals face challenges

such

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as low wages, unemployment, and unforeseen financial setbacks that hinder their ability to save adequately for

retirement

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Moreover

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, demographic shifts, including

aging

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ageing

show examples

populations and longer life expectancies, pose additional strains on personal

savings

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. In response,

governments

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worldwide implement social security systems and pension schemes to provide a safety net for retirees. These initiatives aim to ensure basic living standards during old age and mitigate poverty among elderly populations.

Furthermore

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, government intervention in

retirement

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planning extends beyond financial assistance to encompass regulatory frameworks and policies that safeguard

retirement

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savings

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For example

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, in European countries like Denmark and the Netherlands, robust pension systems combine individual contributions with collective risk-sharing mechanisms managed by both private and public entities.

Such

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integrated approaches not only promote

retirement

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security but

also

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stabilize financial markets and bolster national economies. In conclusion,

while

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personal responsibility in

retirement

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planning is vital,

governments

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play an indispensable role in safeguarding the welfare of

aging

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ageing

show examples

populations. By implementing comprehensive policies and safety nets,

governments

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can ensure equitable access to

retirement

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benefits and alleviate financial insecurity among elderly citizens.

Therefore

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, I strongly disagree with the notion that

governments

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have no obligation to provide for

retirement

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, as their intervention is crucial for societal well-being and economic stability.

yousefreyad55Mon Jul 22 2024

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task achievement

Your essay is comprehensive and addresses the task effectively. However, you can further enhance it by providing more specific examples, which will strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas are clear and logical. To improve, consider making your transitions between paragraphs even more seamless to maintain the flow of your essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a clear stance and summarizing your main points effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your main points are well-supported with relevant examples, ensuring that your arguments are convincing.

task achievement

You have addressed all aspects of the task comprehensively, making your response complete and thorough.

task achievement

Your ideas are clear and show a deep understanding of the topic, which enhances the overall quality of your essay.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

355 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retirement savings
financial planning
economic circumstances
government provision
basic state pension
financial independence
income disparities
aging populations
social safety net
tax burden
financial education
quality of life
personal financial responsibility
social inequality

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