Some people think that employers should ensure a supportive and pleasant work environment where each employee is respected and valued equally while others think employers should focus instead on providing better facilities and equipment. what is your opinion?

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Many individuals believe that
one
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of the crucial criteria that employers ought to focus on is providing a
work
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spirit that will allow the employee to develop and be recognized.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people argue that instruments and proper working place what is important. In my opinion, both of them are essential and related to each other. On the
one
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hand, many
employees
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prefer to
work
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in a supportive
work
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even if the salary is less than in other places. They love to notice improvement throughout their life and to feel that they are valuable in their
work
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and their communities as well.
In addition
Linking Words
, many of them before asking about the salary, ask about the environment of the
work
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to see if it is going to suit them or not.
For example
Linking Words
, many of the employee who are not improving in their job will feel unsatisfied about what they are doing.
Conversely
Linking Words
, improvement will be easier if you have great facilities in your
work
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. Appropriate equipment
are
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is
show examples
useful for
employees
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to accomplish their
work
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faster and do it in a proper way, and the
employees
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who know how to deal with these instruments will be valuable more than the others.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they will be able to do more than
one
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thing at the same time, and multi-tasking is
one
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of the important things for employers.
For example
Linking Words
, a banker who is able to deal properly with the computer, money machine and customers will be more respected than others. In conclusion, I believe that providing perfect
work
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tools contributes to supporting the
employees
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,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
achieving what they want in their
work
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and gaining the respect that they waited for.
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and show that you have a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are detailed and clearly explained to avoid ambiguity. This will help readers fully grasp your arguments and see the connections between them.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases and connectors. This will help link ideas smoothly and provide a clearer structure to your writing.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and complexity to make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
You have addressed both perspectives on the topic in your essay, demonstrating a balanced view, which is great for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps give it a structured framework.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are logically organized, making it easy for readers to follow your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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