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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.

the graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbean island between 2010 and 2017.
#tourists #caribbean #island
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This
Linking Words
 line graph indicates
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the visitor numbers who were staying on
cruise
Use synonyms
 ships, or staying on
Caribbean
Add an article
the Caribbean
show examples
Use synonyms
island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
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 from 2010 to 2017.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total number of tourists gradually increased throughout the whole period shown.
While
Linking Words
 visitors staying on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
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 consistently went up by the end of
Use synonyms
year
Add an article
the year
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,
cruise
Use synonyms
 users showed a slow pattern and it had
lower
Correct word choice
fewer
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 visitors than
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
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 on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
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. In 2010, travellers who were lodging in
Caribbean
Correct article usage
the Caribbean
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 started from 0.25
million
Use synonyms
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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reached 1
million
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, which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 almost double compared to the previous
year
Use synonyms
. The
cruise
Use synonyms
 ship users started from 0.75
million
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 in the first
year
Use synonyms
 in 2010 but had no changes next
year
Use synonyms
 in 2011. It is noticeable that the
tourists
Correct quantifier usage
number of tourists
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 on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
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 dropped by half again from 2011 to 2012,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
cruise
Correct quantifier usage
number of cruise
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 ship visitors went up gradually between 2011 and 2013.
However
Linking Words
, from the
year
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 of 2013, the
Use synonyms
island
Correct quantifier usage
number of island
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 tourists started increasing again and it soared sharply and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
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2
million
Use synonyms
 in 2017.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there were no changes in visitor numbers of
cruise
Use synonyms
 ships from 2013 to 2015 and it decreased slightly to 1.25
million
Use synonyms
 in 2016.
However
Linking Words
, it recovered again to 1.5
million
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hmhy0326 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cruise, island, year, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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