With the growing population in cities more and more people live in homes with small or no outdoor areas. It is positive or negative development?
In
this
fast- paced
era, Correct your spelling
fast-paced
number
of inhabitants Change the article
the number
are
increasing rapidly and residencies have no Change the verb form
is
backyards
. It is positive
development to utilise the Add an article
a positive
space
for everyone, while
it diminish
the bond with nature and Change the verb form
diminishes
give
invitation to stress and negativity in Change the verb form
gives
house
.
To commence with, offering less void Add an article
the house
space
in exterior
of Add an article
the exterior
house
has a handful of merits. First and foremost, more Add an article
the house
people
will be accommodated by saving a small place of houses. Nobody will be homeless due to
more housing space
. Resultantly, government
has enough Add an article
the government
space
for vergant
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
people
to build shelter homes. Secondly
, people
who are busy in their careers they
do not have to worry about Correct pronoun usage
apply
maintenance
of the Add an article
the maintenance
backyards
as it takes huge
amount of Add an article
a huge
times
. Fix the agreement mistake
time
Moreover
, grassy areas are house
of Fix the agreement mistake
houses
the
microbes, insects and mosquitoes. Correct article usage
apply
Thus
, people
becomes
ill and they have to suffer a lot. Change the verb form
become
For example
, countries like India amd
Nepal do not make Correct your spelling
and
backyards
at their homes. Hence
, people
of these nations do not have to sleep on the roads because they have more accommodation.
Conversly
, as the Correct your spelling
Conversely
house
does not have open space
, residents feel less connected with nature and trapped inside the four walls of house
. Even, children opt for gadgets and feel exhausted in their homes Add an article
the house
a house
and
owing to the paucity of fresh air. Tacitly, Correct word choice
apply
house
blocks without floras have more noiser
atmosphere. Correct your spelling
noise
noisier
Furthermore
, people
not
feel Change the verb form
do not
did not
relaxation
in their own Replace the word
relaxed
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
due to
less space
of
sitting Change preposition
for
area
. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
For instance
, people
in Bangladesh suffers
Change the verb form
suffer
with
stress and depression Change preposition
from
due to
no open space
in their house
.
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
To conclude
, there are some positive notes of saving space
for residents. Nonetheless
, we can not deny that there are cons to not having backyards
at home.
Therefore
, Correct article usage
a deteched
deteched
Correct your spelling
detached
detected
house
ought to be constructed.Submitted by kaverigoti2209 on
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task achievement
Your essay contains some good ideas and examples, but it falls short in clarity and coherence. Try to refine your main points and make sure each paragraph covers a single idea clearly supported by relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that make parts of your essay difficult to understand. Work on sentence structure and grammar to convey your ideas more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Develop your introduction and conclusion further. The introduction should clearly outline your main argument, and the conclusion should effectively summarize your points and restate your stance.
task achievement
Although relevant examples were provided, they could be more comprehensive and detailed. Aim to include specific, detailed examples to support your arguments better.
task achievement
You have tackled the topic comprehensively, touching upon both positive and negative aspects of living in homes without outdoor areas.
task achievement
Your essay addresses some important considerations such as maintenance, mental health, and connection with nature, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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