In some countries today, many people decide to have their first child when they are older. What are the reasons? Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
In
present, there is a common tendency Change preposition
At
that
Correct word choice
for
people
opt
for giving the Fix the infinitive
to opt
first
offspring in their latter stage of life. This
problem can be explained by various reasons, namely economic and parental knowledge issues, from my perspective, I hold a belief that this
phenomenon has more advantages than its drawbacks.
In terms of the reasons why more parents
prefer having child
late, Add an article
a child
this
can be attributed to the fact that they focus on strengthening their financial ability to raise a baby. In order to provide the
high-quality living Correct article usage
apply
condition
and Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
well-rounded
educational system for Correct article usage
a well-rounded
children
, parents
typically devote a large amount of time
to pursue
Wrong verb form
pursuing
the
sustainable economic background, laying Correct article usage
a
foundation
for Add an article
the foundation
a foundation
the
comprehensive environment for their Correct article usage
a
first
offspring. For example
, affluent parents
can afford to let their babies to
grow up and follow academic Change the verb form
apply
journey
in international institutions which can overwhelmingly impact Fix the agreement mistake
journeys
on
Change preposition
apply
children
’s development and ability, allowing them to become global citizens in their later life
.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
However
, the issue related to give
Change the verb form
giving
a
birth when Remove the article
apply
people
getting
older cannot be disregarded, namely isolation Wrong verb form
get
feeling
for adults and a higher rate of getting health Verb problem
apply
problem
for Fix the agreement mistake
problems
children
. First
of all, giving
Verb problem
apply
endeavor
Wrong verb form
endeavouring
for
work and Change preposition
to
earning
money for a long span of Wrong verb form
earn
time
may make matured
Replace the word
mature
people
suffering
from Wrong verb form
suffer
the
Correct article usage
apply
feeling
of isolation and loneliness. Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
In addition
, according to
various Change preposition
apply
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
indicating
that the rate of detrimental impacts on Verb problem
studies show
Correct article usage
the gene
gene
and Fix the agreement mistake
genes
brain
of Fix the agreement mistake
brains
children
may increase when the mothers are over 35 years old, spelling trouble for the disability
generation which not only has negative impacts on Replace the word
disabled
parents
but also
the survival process of these children
.
Although
the noticeable drawbacks of giving first
birth when people
are older, I firmly concur this
has more advantages for both parents
and their children
. Initially
, parents
may have adequate knowledge about how to raise a child precisely and various potential solutions to overcome difficulties in Add an article
the pregnant
pregnant
process, Replace the word
pregnancy
for example
. Therefore
, devoting a few years to do
Unnecessary verb
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
comprehend
those things Wrong verb form
comprehending
as well as
foster
their future career is worthy which allows them to be ideal Wrong verb form
fostering
parents
. For example
, there is ubiquitous
phenomenon that numerous adults take up a parental course which requires them a plethora of Add an article
a ubiquitous
time
to be ready for the important milestone in their life – having their newborn baby. That considers
as the crucial step to pave a better way for their later generation.
In conclusion, adults requiring more Wrong verb form
is considered
time
to have the
better financial capability is the rationale why numerous Correct article usage
apply
people
giving
their Wrong verb form
give
first
child late, as well as
being knowledgeable which indicate
that the benefits are surpassed its counterpart, namely the empty feeling and problems for Correct subject-verb agreement
indicates
children
.Submitted by thanhtu.thcsbt on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic and the questions asked, but your arguments could be presented in a clearer and more organized way. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and provide focused support for it.
coherence cohesion
Try to connect the ideas in and between paragraphs with clear linking words or phrases. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion summarizes the main points of your essay and reinforces your overall position. This helps in providing a clear and strong end to your argument.
task achievement
You have made a complete response to the task, addressing both the reasons for why people are having children later and whether the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the points you will discuss, which gives a roadmap for your essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.