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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about the underfround railway systems in 6 countries.

The table below gives information about the underfround railway systems in 6 countries.
The table compares
to
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apply
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the underground
railway
Use synonyms
 systems across three categories in six different
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
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.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the oldest underground
railway
Use synonyms
 system was in London, it
also
Linking Words
 had the longest route than other
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Tokyo and Paris had significant numbers of passengers every year. Looking at the information in more detail , the underground
railway
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 system in London opened in 1963, and
the
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it's
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its
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 route was 394 kilometres.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Los Angeles had
a
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the
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 latest one that opened in 2001. It can be seen that compared to over six cities,
Use synonyms
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
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 routes of Kyoto and Los Angeles were short , with 11 kilometres and 28 kilometres ,respectively. In terms of the number of passengers, the largest amount was 1,927
millions
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million
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 in Tokyo, followed by Paris with the figures of 1,191
millions
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million
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.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the number of passengers in Kyoto and
in
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Los Angeles had lower levels, the former was 45
billions
Change to singular
billion
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, and the latter was 50
billions
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billion
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.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words railway with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
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