The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040.
The chart illustrates the
proportion
of
urban
Add an article
the urban
show examples
population of four different Asian countries from 1970 to 2020 and future years’ prediction. It is clearly observed from the chart that the figure for
Malaysia
saw a gradual rise during the whole period, and it is going to be the highest by 2040.
On the other hand
,
while
the
proportion
of urban dwellers
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
Thailand
fluctuates moderately between 1970 to 2020, There will be
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
significant growth in future. In 1970, the
proportion
for
Malaysia
was 30 which is approximately equal to that of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
. the figure for
Malaysia
increased gradually to nearly 45% in 1990 which is just under that of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
. After 1990 the percentage of
Malaysian
Correct article usage
the Malaysian
show examples
urban population rose gradually by about 30%,
while
that of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
saw a slight decline of 10% over the same period.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
predictions show that both
Malaysia
and
Philippines
Change noun form
Philippine's
Philippines'
show examples
proportion
will rise in subsequent years. The percentage for
Malaysia
will be nearly 80% and for
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
will be nearly 50% in 2040.
On the other hand
, the percentage of Indonesia was the lowest at nearly 15% in 1970 and that of
Thailand
was nearly 20%. Between 1970 to 2020, the
proportion
of Indonesia increased significantly to nearly 50%
whereas
that of
Thailand
fluctuated between 20% and 30%.
also
Add a comma
also,
show examples
some individuals predict that the percentages of Indonesia and
Thailand
will continue to rise to 60% and 45%, respectively in 2040.
Submitted by keyhan.mp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, on the other hand, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, malaysia, thailand, philippines with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuates" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: