IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

This is an IELTS sample answer essay on the topic of a map of a ground floor in a building and containing 3 maps. The plans below show how the ground floor of a particular building has changed overtime.

This is an IELTS sample answer essay on the topic of a map of a ground floor in a building and containing 3 maps. The plans below show how the ground floor of a particular building has changed overtime.
The maps illustrate how much change on the ground floor of a building from the year 1958 until
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the plan that, despite a building serving for several purposes for many years, including residential and commercial, the kitchen
was only
Verb problem
remained
show examples
 unchanged
remaining
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. At present,
this
Linking Words
area
Use synonyms
 has been renovated to be a flower shop with various open areas for flowers. To commence, in 1958, the
room
Use synonyms
 on the left side corner inside the building was used as a meeting
room
Use synonyms
, which was extended and
turn
Wrong verb form
turned
show examples
 into a living
room
Use synonyms
 in 1985. Followed closely by an assistant’s office next to the meeting
room
Use synonyms
 with a secretary’s office which was located closer to an entrance
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 on the left. The
area
Use synonyms
 on the left side after coming
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
this
Linking Words
 building was a restroom.
However
Linking Words
, those three rooms were demolished and changed to
Bathroom
Correct article usage
a Bathroom
show examples
 in 1985,
thus
Linking Words
 currently being renovated to a play
area
Use synonyms
 and flower zone. On the right side, both a reception counter and a
manager
Change noun form
manager's
show examples
 working space were turned into bedrooms when they were used as an apartment.
Then
Linking Words
, those bedrooms were renovated for an open space with flowers and the office of the florist shop.
While
Linking Words
 the most inside
room
Use synonyms
 was kitchen
room
Use synonyms
 all along.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words area, room with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: