IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Opinions are divided as to whether young
students
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 should study full-time before turning 18. As far as I am concerned, I completely agree that a full-time learning program for adolescents can lead to several positive outcomes, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. One of the primary reasons young learners are enrolled in full-time
education
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 is the substantial benefits it provides in developing academic and literacy
skills
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. They can fully immerse themselves in each course continuously, allowing for a deeper understanding of various subjects
such
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 as STEM, which includes Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics. These subjects are crucial in today’s rapidly advancing world, as they equip
students
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 with analytical and problem-solving
skills
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 that are essential for modern careers.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 knowledge plays a crucial role in society, particularly for those aiming to enter university, as they need to concentrate on improving their
skills
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.
For example
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, if a student aspires to
enroll
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enrol
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 in a top-ranked university globally, they must dedicate themselves and maintain steady progress in their studies. Another significant reason is that young
students
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 can learn to be productive individuals through effective time management and organizational
skills
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. Full-time
education
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 helps them develop discipline, prioritize tasks, and balance academic responsibilities, which are essential
skills
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 for future success.
For instance
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,
students
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 who follow a structured learning schedule are more likely to develop a strong work ethic, resilience, and adaptability, which will benefit them in higher
education
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 and professional careers. In conclusion, I strongly believe that full-time
education
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 is more beneficial than part-time courses because it enhances academic performance and fosters essential life
skills
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such
Linking Words
 as time management, discipline, and critical thinking.

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task achievement
Consider providing more concrete examples to bolster your arguments, especially in the second body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly. You might add transitional phrases between ideas to enhance coherence.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You have a strong logical structure in your essay, making it easy to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental cornerstone
  • literacy and numeracy
  • social inequalities
  • foundation of knowledge
  • social mobility
  • informed and engaged citizenry
  • democratic processes
  • youth crime rates
  • productive activities
  • vocational training
  • workforce
  • stifling individual talent
  • economic contribution
  • stress and mental health issues
  • unsuitable educational system
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • diverse talents
  • career paths
  • formal academic education
  • financial strains
  • low-income countries
  • improving quality of education
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