Describe a time when you were extremely happy. What happened?

Each person has situations
which
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in which
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the person feels extremely happy.
As
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Like
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everyone, I faced the same time. One of
happy
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the happy
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situations
is
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was
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in my life
,
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apply
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when got
my
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a
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decent job. I felt blissfully happy
,
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because the time made my day.
On the other hand
, all my family members congratulated me and I deserved the prestige job. All in all, happiness is a significant time during our lives, as we need to get rid of stressful life.
In addition
, thanks to getting the job I can earn enough money, which is the most important thing in our lives.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task response
Try to add more specific details or examples about why getting the job made you happy, such as what the job entails or how it changed your daily life.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that ideas are logically connected. Adding transitional phrases would help the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by expanding on the context and summarizing the main points more effectively.
task response
The essay clearly addresses the task by describing a time when you were extremely happy and explaining what happened.
coherence cohesion
The main idea is clear and the general structure is easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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