Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of free admission outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #art #galleries #charge #admission #fees #entry

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In present days, people can visit some

galleries

Use synonyms

and

museums

Use synonyms

free of charge, whilst there are some

places

Use synonyms

which charge an entrance fee. I believe the merits of

this

Linking Words

surpass the drawbacks. It is inevitable that offering free admission to

museums

Use synonyms

and art

galleries

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is beneficial in terms of gaining public popularity and fostering

interests

Fix the agreement mistake

interest

show examples

among the younger generation. First and foremost, to compete with other recreational options including movie theatres, owners of

museums

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and

galleries

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could resort to promoting free entrance to appeal to the community, promoting the

habits

Fix the agreement mistake

habit

show examples

of going to

such

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places

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for

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

purposes.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, by endorsing free entrance, the

museums

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and

galleries

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can be more accessible for the children,

hence

Linking Words

it will nurture curiosity and appreciation for history, science and nature from a very young age.

As a result

Linking Words

, they will grow up into adults with creative mindsets and

thirst

Correct article usage

a thirst

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for knowledge. Many people may argue that not selling tickets will affect

such

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places

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financially, which leads to the degradation of exhibitions, and lowers the quality of items and concepts available on display. Primarily, art centres and

museums

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need monetary means to operate and provide income for employees. If they did not receive funds via ticket sales, it would be challenging to maintain the activities

as well as

Linking Words

care for the

artifacts

Change the spelling

artefacts

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As well as

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, without a stable financial source, those

places

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could not afford to increase their collections

Remove the comma

apply

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and open new exhibitions.

Consequently

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, they would lose the support of the public as they do not offer novel materials to view. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the disadvantage of lacking the revenue from ticket sales may seem prominent, I believe the advantages are far more crucial, as it will promote public recognition and

cultivating

Wrong verb form

cultivate

show examples

intrigues in arts and knowledge for the juveniles.

Therefore

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, governments should provide financial

supports

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support

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for

museums

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and

galleries

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to maintain their availability to the population without any fee.

Submitted by kimtruong270192 on Tue Jul 23 2024

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task achievement

To enhance your task response, consider providing more balanced examples for both sides of the argument. This would make your essay more comprehensive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic's complexities.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the central idea of the essay. Although the paragraphs are generally well-structured, including a few more transitional phrases would make the connections between your ideas stronger.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, aiding in the overall coherence of the piece.

coherence cohesion

You have effectively supported your main points with relevant examples, which strengthens your argument.

task achievement

Your response is complete and addresses the question effectively, considering both the advantages and disadvantages of free admission.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of free admission outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Some people say it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organised and in the correct place. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Traffic abd housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories andtheir employees to the country side. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantanges outweigh the disadvamtages?

A group of people think that the penalty for each kind of crime needs to equal, another group says that before giving punishment wants to analyse the stimulantt and motivation of the crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.