Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of free admission outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #art #galleries #charge #admission #fees #entry

In present days, people can visit some

galleries

and

museums

free of charge, whilst there are some

places

which charge an entrance fee. I believe the merits of

this

surpass the drawbacks. It is inevitable that offering free admission to

museums

and art

galleries

is beneficial in terms of gaining public popularity and fostering

interests

Fix the agreement mistake

interest

show examples

among the younger generation. First and foremost, to compete with other recreational options including movie theatres, owners of

museums

and

galleries

could resort to promoting free entrance to appeal to the community, promoting the

habits

Fix the agreement mistake

habit

show examples

of going to

such

places

for

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

purposes.

Furthermore

, by endorsing free entrance, the

museums

and

galleries

can be more accessible for the children,

hence

it will nurture curiosity and appreciation for history, science and nature from a very young age.

As a result

, they will grow up into adults with creative mindsets and

thirst

Correct article usage

a thirst

show examples

for knowledge. Many people may argue that not selling tickets will affect

such

places

financially, which leads to the degradation of exhibitions, and lowers the quality of items and concepts available on display. Primarily, art centres and

museums

need monetary means to operate and provide income for employees. If they did not receive funds via ticket sales, it would be challenging to maintain the activities

as well as

care for the

artifacts

Change the spelling

artefacts

show examples

As well as

this

, without a stable financial source, those

places

could not afford to increase their collections

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and open new exhibitions.

Consequently

, they would lose the support of the public as they do not offer novel materials to view. In conclusion,

although

the disadvantage of lacking the revenue from ticket sales may seem prominent, I believe the advantages are far more crucial, as it will promote public recognition and

cultivating

Wrong verb form

cultivate

show examples

intrigues in arts and knowledge for the juveniles.

Therefore

, governments should provide financial

supports

Fix the agreement mistake

support

show examples

for

museums

and

galleries

to maintain their availability to the population without any fee.

Submitted by kimtruong270192 on Tue Jul 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

To enhance your task response, consider providing more balanced examples for both sides of the argument. This would make your essay more comprehensive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic's complexities.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the central idea of the essay. Although the paragraphs are generally well-structured, including a few more transitional phrases would make the connections between your ideas stronger.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, aiding in the overall coherence of the piece.

coherence cohesion

You have effectively supported your main points with relevant examples, which strengthens your argument.

task achievement

Your response is complete and addresses the question effectively, considering both the advantages and disadvantages of free admission.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
The number of tourists visting a particular Caribbean island
Tourism in Caribbean Island has been growing considerably for the last 7 years. Since 2010, number of visitors has been tripled from 1 million tourist to more than 3 million annual visitors by the end of 2017.
4
band
In some countries, boys and girls are educated in different school rather than in the same school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Various states have to be learning both genders in separated kindergartens instant of one institutions. However, the positive side in this idea that students may be foucs only in the academic issues which lead them to achieve best grades while the downside of this process encourages to discrimination between women and men.
6.5
band
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advatanges of having an ageing population outweigh the disavantages?
In contemporary societies, the phenomenon of an ageing population is increasingly prevalent, sparking debates regarding its implications for governments and communities. While some argue that this demographic shift presents challenges, others contend that there are notable benefits to be gained. This essay will explore both perspectives before drawing a reasoned conclusion.
7.5
band
The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?
Some believe that the essential role of education is to make children ready for the modern world, so it is not necessary to provide them with art and music classes ınstead they should focus on contemporary subjects. I disagree with the statement that we should cut out music and art to better prepare for the modern world and give more attention to classes such as information technology. This essay will explore several reasons for this matter.
7.5
band
Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Art subjects are believed to be an essential part of the learning process and some suggest that they should be taught in high school. While others might argue that students do not have free time for drawing, I disagree since it is important for teenagers to explore their creativity and relax.

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of free admission outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The number of tourists visting a particular Caribbean island

In some countries, boys and girls are educated in different school rather than in the same school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?