IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

What are the causes of crime? What can be down to tackle it?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Committing a
crime
Use synonyms
 depends on a variety of reasons and includes many options. The
government
Use synonyms
 reacted to
this
Linking Words
 problem in different ways, but still exists. In the upcoming paragraphs, I shall discuss my point of view in detail. Individuals need to be responsible for their own actions.
Crime
Use synonyms
 is primarily the outcome of multiple adverse social, economic, cultural and family conditions. To prevent law-breaking it is important to have an understanding of its roots. The first reason for committing a
crime
Use synonyms
 is the home environment. Children and teenagers can easily turn to
crime
Use synonyms
 from peer pressure or
lack
Use synonyms
 of parental guidance. The conditions of the home environment include
lack
Use synonyms
 of communication,
lack
Use synonyms
 of respect and responsibility and abuse and neglect of children.
However
Linking Words
, social issues
such
Linking Words
 as economic, and political in the country have a direct connection with lawlessness.
For example
Linking Words
, unemployment can lead people to do illegal
due to
Linking Words
 financial pressure and
also
Linking Words
lack
Use synonyms
 of structure in their daily lives. There are several ways to decrease the number of crimes. To be specific, parents should spend more time with their kids by reducing working hours.
Thus
Linking Words
, they can have opportunities to listen and share with their kids and give them some responsibility in the family environment.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 should increase social benefits to alleviate poverty.
For instance
Linking Words
, improving the quality of people's lives and escalating the volume of work in the community by raising employment at companies and factories.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 managers with apply harsher punishment can deter individuals from
crime
Use synonyms
, like long-term prison or deprivation of all social and economic facilities for
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 committed crimes. In conclusion,
crime
Use synonyms
 is a major issue, but cracking down on offenders with a harsh penal system is not the only way. These problems can be solved through the
government
Use synonyms
 providing jobs and funding which should raise living standards and dramatically reduce
crime
Use synonyms
 levels.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that all paragraphs transition smoothly and maintain a clear logical flow. Revisiting the structure might help to align paragraphs more closely with the thesis.
task achievement
Enhance the introduction by clearly stating your main points. Avoid vague phrases such as 'I shall discuss my point of view in detail', and instead preview the main points you will discuss.
task achievement
Use more specific and varied examples to strengthen your argument. Specificity will bolster your points and grounds them in concrete evidence, making the essay more convincing.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt thoroughly, tackling both causes of crime and potential solutions.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported and elaborated upon, providing a clear view of the writer's argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay follows a logical structure, with each paragraph contributing to the overall argument.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation
  • law enforcement
  • social inequality
  • unemployment
  • urbanization
  • community policing
  • offenders
  • recidivism rates
  • preventing crime
  • economic costs
  • technology in crime
  • government policies
  • social media influence
  • education and crime
  • fear in communities
  • disruption of community life
What to do next:
Look at other essays: