Some people think that team sports prepare children for work life but others think individual sports are better. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
There are some people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
thinks
that Change the verb form
think
the
group Correct article usage
apply
kinds
of sport
can help Fix the agreement mistake
sports
to
teens to understand the issues of Change preposition
apply
the
adult life, Correct article usage
apply
while
others assume that the
individual Correct article usage
apply
kinds
of sport
make it better. I think that there are many cons and pros Fix the agreement mistake
sports
at
both sides, and I'll try to Change preposition
on
discribe
my opinion in Correct your spelling
describe
this
essay.
First of all, I would like to talk about the command activity. The essensial
pros of Correct your spelling
essential
such
sport
is the development of Correct article usage
a sport
a
communication skills. Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
A team
members Correct the article-noun agreement
Team
are
try to understand one Unnecessary verb
apply
to
another. They have to support their friends not only Change preposition
apply
on
the Change preposition
in
sports'
part of their livesChange noun form
sports
,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
on
Change preposition
in
the
other spheres for Correct article usage
apply
purpose
Add an article
the purpose
to win
. They learn to understand what Change preposition
of winning
does
it Unnecessary verb
apply
mean
- discipline and order, because the victory depends on each person on the team. Correct subject-verb agreement
means
Moreover
, they could understan
that sometimes they have to think more about the collective needs than about Correct your spelling
understand
thereself
.
Correct your spelling
herself
there self
On the other hand
, children that partisipate
Correct your spelling
participate
participated
on
Change preposition
in
an individual
Correct the article-noun agreement
individual kinds
an individual kind
kinds
of sport
are more independent. They could learn that there are
no somebody else they can rely on. Change the verb form
is
There
fortune Replace the word
Their
are
in their own hands. But these children can grow up selfishChange the verb form
is
,
because they are the Remove the comma
apply
center
of their Universe, they are not used to thinking about somebody else.
In conclusion, I want to summarize, that all Change the spelling
centre
kinds
of sports have their cons and pros, and all in all - not always we can say that some kind of sport
can prepare children o
adult life, it depends more on the Correct your spelling
for
unbringing
given by the parents.Correct your spelling
upbringing
Submitted by anastasia on
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task achievement
Work on expanding and developing your main points with more detailed explanations and examples. For example, you could provide specific scenarios where team sports help with work life or how individual sports can foster self-reliance.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are cumbersome or unclear. Try to vary your sentence structures and make sure each sentence flows logically from the one before it. For example, 'A team members are try to understand one to another' could be rephrased for clarity. Proofreading for grammatical errors will also help.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the accuracy of your vocabulary and grammar. For instance, 'essensial' should be 'essential,' and 'there self' should be 'themselves.' Use tools like spell checkers or grammar-checking software to catch these errors.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, which is essential for a 'Discuss both views and give your opinion' essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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