Some people believe that it is good to share as much as information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to shared freely.

Some people
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
that sharing
information
is
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
to humans.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
show examples
believe that they should pay
fee
Add an article
a fee
the fee
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
reach the
information
because they may be too valuable. I
agrre
Correct your spelling
agree
that sharing is
helpful
Correct article usage
a helpful
show examples
attidtude and.
Correct your spelling
attitude and
academical
resourches
Correct your spelling
resources
are key to human development.
However
,
this
essay explains
the
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apply
show examples
both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
of the argument. Some kinds of
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
, especially
long period
Add a hyphen
long-period
show examples
observation, might be
difficult
Correct quantifier usage
more difficult
show examples
to receive than
other kind
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another kind
other kinds
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
. Generally,
individual
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individuals
show examples
make an effort for some academic and scientific experiments,
institutes
Correct word choice
and institutes
show examples
make
investment
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investments
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
resarches
Correct your spelling
research
.
Thus
, people believe that
this
cannot be unpaid.
In
Change preposition
For
show examples
instence
Correct your spelling
instance
, some science magazines or
e- magazines
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e-magazines
show examples
subsrices
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subseries
are very high
price
Wrong verb form
priced
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays because of
this
vision.
On the other hand
, people who think more public benefit
supoort
Correct your spelling
support
everyone
send
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sends
show examples
and
receive
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receives
show examples
free
information
about science,
politic
Fix the agreement mistake
politics
show examples
, history etc. on some database. Because they believe that
information
is the most significant thing to figure out our body, our planet, and the universe.
In addition
, if
we
Add a verb
we are
we were
show examples
aware
ourselves
Change preposition
of ourselves
show examples
and our worlds
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life might seem more
aimly
Correct your spelling
timely
aimed
. I think, in the
globalazed
Correct your spelling
globalized
globalised
world, every
scholor
Correct your spelling
scholar
or scientist
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
paid
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
their employers. Our fee for
reach
Change the verb form
reaching
show examples
the
information
is not fix
Change the verb form
is not fixed
show examples
their salary or
information
sources. I believe the statement
share
Correct subject-verb agreement
shares
show examples
information
as
Rephrase
as much as
show examples
possible very strongly because of that. In conclusion, it is argued
to reach
Change preposition
that reaching
show examples
the
information
should be free
pr
Correct your spelling
and
should
be pay
Change the verb form
be paid
be paying
show examples
for
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I think
information
too valuable but it does not mean
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
we have to pay
it
Change preposition
for it
show examples
.
Submitted by bkardelenyilmazz on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use transition words and phrases such as 'therefore', 'moreover', and 'however' to connect your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen your introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly outline the main points that will be discussed, and the conclusion should effectively summarize these points while reiterating your stance.
task achievement
Provide specific and relevant examples to support your arguments. This will add depth to your essay and make your points clearer.
task achievement
Work on expressing ideas more clearly and comprehensively. Avoid general statements and focus on elaborating each point to ensure that your ideas are fully developed.
overall
Pay attention to grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Errors can sometimes obstruct the meaning and reduce the overall quality of the essay.
overall
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is a good strategy for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
The main ideas are identifiable, making it clear what the essay aims to discuss.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
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