Creative artist should always be given freedom to express their own ideas in whichever way they wish.There should be no public or government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In some countries,
artists
are allowed to express their thoughts through their artistry freely. However
, in other places, the public and governments take a role in restricting what they do as an artist. Although
several groups argue that it is better to have strict rules for them, I firmly believe that artists
should not be limited by either of them. The reasons behind this
are because of their rights and influence on society.
To begin
with, artists
are also
human beings as others are, who have independent rights to deliver their ideas, thoughts, and opinions without crossing the line. If restrictions are given to them to create their art, it means that their rights are taken away. Therefore
, It is totally unfair for the artists
. As an example, artists
in Saudi Arabia, especially singer-songwriters cannot make decent expression
Fix the agreement mistake
expressions
how
they are feeling, because their word choices in the lyrics are limited, making them have difficulties conveying their ideas eloquently.
Change preposition
of how
In addition
, allowing artists
to have freedom in expressing their thoughts by making art will influence people
, especially music. Songs can influence people
through the lyrics written by songwriters. They are able to motivate people
, move people
's hearts to do something better, as well as
to prevent them from doing terrible things. For instance
, the song Hero by Mariah Carey has helped people
to believe in themselves that "Hero always lies in you".
In conclusion, the advantages of restricting artists
in their art-making do not outweigh the disadvantages. Thus
, it is clear that
letting artists
have the freedom to do their job is a good option, both for the artists
and the people
. Nevertheless
, in the future, if artists
cross the line by stating vulgar, arrogant, or inappropriate art, for example
, there should be a rule that states what they are able or not able to do.Submitted by firmansyahafandy99 on
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task achievement
Your response is mostly clear and addresses the task effectively. However, be careful with minor grammatical errors and try to elaborate slightly more on your examples to make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-organized. However, ensuring smoother transitions between ideas, especially within paragraphs, can help in presenting a more cohesive argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency. This will help make your essay more dynamic and interesting to read.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the question, and your opinions are well-articulated.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effective in framing your argument nicely.