Band-9 Samples: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Recently many
companies
have already highlighted that their products
are cutting-edge via advertising and this
situation can create a negative impact on the buyers. This
essay will discuss both the negative and positive sides of businesses.
On the one hand , advertising changed by global companies
in order to have more sales ratio. Also
, businesses are representing and imposing their products
to the clients moreover
they usually allegedly that the product is exactly the latest. That issue has a detrimental impact on the buyers because sometimes people
can buy unnecessary stuff and that leads to a waste of money. Besides
the other significant negative side is shopping obsession. According to
the
many researches , several Correct article usage
apply
people
are affected by fraud advertising thereby they can have bizarre shopping habit
. İn addition, Fix the agreement mistake
habits
people
who are employees are spending more money on those new products
.
On the other hand
, many argue that technology is being developed by scientists therefore
it is quite normal to present the newest products
. For instance
, our smartphones are being uploaded every year because of that companies
should present their products
become the newest .
İn addition , technological fundamentals are much-needed for people
's lives. As a result
, a few commercial advertisements can be honest . Finally
, growing manufacturing needs the highest percentage of sales wherefore companies
should represent their stuff by advertising.
To conclude
, business models have already aimed plenty of shopping ratio for
this
reason I think , it causes too numerous a negative effects for both clients and companies
.Submitted by kickbox191 on
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task achievement
Expand on your ideas and provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Work on developing more clear and comprehensive ideas. Aim for greater depth and insight into the issues being discussed.
task achievement
Try to provide concrete, relevant examples that directly support your main points. This adds credibility and relevance to your essay.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next and that your arguments follow a clear, logical order.
coherence cohesion
Refine your introduction and conclusion to ensure they clearly and effectively frame your essay. Your introduction should present a clear thesis statement, and your conclusion should summarize your main points succinctly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point you make is well-supported with detailed explanations or examples. This will help strengthen the coherence and depth of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of the topic, which shows a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which provides a clear framework for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your use of transitional phrases (
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.