It is important for children to learn the different between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

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In
this
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contemporary world, it is argued that
having
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being
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punished is the only way for
the
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apply
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children to distinguish the difference between good and bad
at
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in
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their early life. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
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statement because punishments will often lead them to depression and trauma and
also
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reduces
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reduce
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their self-confidence level. In conclusion, I wholeheartedly disagree that punishing
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at their blooming stage will teach them
the
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apply
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positive and negative values because
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will result in psychological disorders and it will have a direct impact on their personal development as well.
Submitted by chandralekha1993 on

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task achievement
Develop your argument fully by providing more detailed reasoning and examples. Explain why punishment might lead to depression and trauma, and provide alternative methods for teaching children right and wrong.
task achievement
You should ensure that you are addressing all parts of the task. Provide a balanced discussion that also considers any potential benefits of punishment, even if you ultimately disagree with it.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea and by adding more paragraphs for different points. The essay should also include more logical connections between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Include more supporting points for each argument to enhance cohesion. Transition words and phrases can help link sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and a conclusion, which provides a structure for the discussion.
task achievement
The writer’s opinion is clearly stated, and the essay sticks to this viewpoint throughout, which helps maintain focus.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral development
  • positive reinforcement
  • natural consequences
  • constructive punishment
  • punitive measures
  • psychological effects
  • self-esteem
  • aggression
  • anxiety
  • time-outs
  • loss of privileges
  • logical consequences
  • discipline
  • affection
  • internalize
  • modeling moral behavior
  • collaborative activities
  • ethical dilemmas
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