It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #future

Today,

due to

the growing trend of unexpected issues, planning for the

future

life

has become more important than in the past. A popular belief about

money

claims that all people, even youngsters, should save

money

for their

future

. In

this

essay, I will discuss

both

the benefits and drawbacks of saving

money

for the rest of

the

Change the word

show examples

life

, and I will explain why I strongly agree with

this

opinion. For either seniors or juniors,financial support can play a key role in tackling their

future'

Change noun form

future

show examples

problems . Undoubtedly,

life

is going to face a variety of unpredictable bitter incidents .Floods and earthquakes as natural disasters which lead to several detrimental effects on buildings and houses, are examples of unpredictable heartbreaking incidents for

both

seniors and juniors.Your home which is demolished by these disasters will require financial efforts to rebuild.

However

,your saved

moneymoney

Correct your spelling

money

may lead to a less convenient

life

for you when you could easily spend

instead

of saving like others, today will help you to reconstruct your shelter and have a better

life

than others. Others believe individuals should live in the moment, the past has gone and the

future

is not yet to come. But

drawbacks

Correct article usage

the drawbacks

show examples

this

approach will be appealing to

both

young and older people with the outlook same as

this

view.

For example

, someone who spends all his or her income on leisure activities or shopping may suddenly become sick and need rest for a long time. cancer is a disease

that is

suddenly diagnosed by doctors. Too much

money

is needed for his or her treatment,

while

it's not clear whether he will be able to continue working

due to

the hardness of his/her illness or not. Without any saved

money

and a

future

job, you utterly lose not only your current moment but

also

your

future

. All in all, one of the major and fearful features of the

future

that must be considered is the lack of insurance and knowledge about the upcoming

future

For example

, some natural disasters and unforeseen diseases need financial support to ensure survival.

Therefore

saving

money

is crucial for

both

young and old people.

Submitted by ashkanasho on Wed Jul 03 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure paragraphs are well-organized and clearly linked. Transition phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' or 'Furthermore' could improve flow.

task achievement

Clarify your main points and make them more explicit in each paragraph. This will help to strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Avoid repetitive words or phrases and try to use a wider range of vocabulary to make your essay more dynamic and engaging.

task achievement

The essay covers both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view and a logical conclusion in support of saving money for the future.

coherence cohesion

The introduction gives a clear thesis statement, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points.

task achievement

The examples provided, such as natural disasters and health issues, are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

356 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
safety net
unforeseen circumstances
emergencies
future investments
retirement planning
financial discipline
habit of saving
amassing wealth
substantial fund
opportunity cost
additional income
inflation
purchasing power

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It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is sometimes argued that too many students go to university, while others claim that a university education should be a universal right.

some people believe that taxing is best way to reduce the industrial pollution.While some suggest there are several other ways to solve this trouble. Discuss both the views and give you opinion.

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?