It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Today,
due to
the growing trend of unexpected issues, planning for the future
life
has become more important than in the past. A popular belief about money
claims that all people, even youngsters, should save money
for their future
. In this
essay, I will discuss both
the benefits and drawbacks of saving money
for the rest of the
Change the word
my
life
, and I will explain why I strongly agree with this
opinion.
For either seniors or juniors,financial support can play a key role in tackling their future'
problems . Undoubtedly, Change noun form
future
life
is going to face a variety of unpredictable bitter incidents .Floods and earthquakes as natural disasters which lead to several detrimental effects on buildings and houses, are examples of unpredictable heartbreaking incidents for both
seniors and juniors.Your home which is demolished by these disasters will require financial efforts to rebuild. However
,your saved moneymoney
may lead to a less convenient Correct your spelling
money
life
for you when you could easily spend instead
of saving like others, today will help you to reconstruct your shelter and have a better life
than others.
Others believe individuals should live in the moment, the past has gone and the future
is not yet to come. But drawbacks
of Correct article usage
the drawbacks
this
approach will be appealing to both
young and older people with the outlook same as this
view.For example
, someone who spends all his or her income on leisure activities or shopping may suddenly become sick and need rest for a long time. cancer is a disease that is
suddenly diagnosed by doctors. Too much money
is needed for his or her treatment, while
it's not clear whether he will be able to continue working due to
the hardness of his/her illness or not. Without any saved money
and a future
job, you utterly lose not only your current moment but also
your future
.
All in all, one of the major and fearful features of the future
that must be considered is the lack of insurance and knowledge about the upcoming future
. For example
, some natural disasters and unforeseen diseases need financial support to ensure survival. Therefore
saving money
is crucial for both
young and old people.Submitted by ashkanasho on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure paragraphs are well-organized and clearly linked. Transition phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' or 'Furthermore' could improve flow.
task achievement
Clarify your main points and make them more explicit in each paragraph. This will help to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Avoid repetitive words or phrases and try to use a wider range of vocabulary to make your essay more dynamic and engaging.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view and a logical conclusion in support of saving money for the future.
coherence cohesion
The introduction gives a clear thesis statement, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the essay's main points.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as natural disasters and health issues, are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.