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Band 3

Many people prefer to use public transportation while others say that personal cars are the best mode of transportation. In your opinion what are the pros and cons of using public transport?

#people #transportation #cars #mode #transport
Many populations select
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 transport system
whereas
 a few people choose to personal vehicles.
This
 essay tries to differentiate the advantages and disadvantages of utilizing public
travel
 facilities.
Firstly
, choosing public
travel
 options emits less carbon dioxide into
environment
Add an article
the environment
an environment
show examples
 which helps to maintain a safe environment. Because exhaust gas from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicles is a major contributor to
gloabl
Correct your spelling
global
 warming, reduction in
this
 can be largely beneficial.
In addition
 to
this
, city traffic will be curbed to a great extent by using public transportation which will make more safe roads and will save time too.
Thus
 it would be money saving too.
For example
, missed appointments
costs
Wrong verb form
cost
show examples
 the NHS in the UK
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of money which can be avoided through keeping on time with them.
On the other hand
, there are some disadvantages too in
this
 matter. Public transport is not a
profit driven
Add a hyphen
profit-driven
show examples
 business in any country. So much of taxpayers' money is wasted on continuing
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 transport system.
Furthermore
, public
travel
 is always a horrible experience for the service user in terms of facilities.
To conclude
, there are significant pros and cons
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the usage of public
travel
 facilities. but can say that advantages are more than negatives and we must encourage it.
Submitted by krishnabalu1984 on

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task achievement
You should aim for a bit more clarity in your arguments. Be sure to clearly distinguish between points and elaborate on each one adequately. For example, when discussing how public transport can save money, you could provide a more direct and clearer example. Also, consider revising sentences to avoid confusion.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving the logical structuring and paragraphing of your essay. Your ideas should flow smoothly from one to the next, and each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence. For example, the mention of the NHS in the same context as traffic could be more effectively split into two separate points to highlight the specific advantages of public transport in reducing carbon emissions and saving money.
introduction conclusion present
It is great that you introduced the essay with a clear statement of the topic and ended with a summary conclusion. This helps in keeping your essay focused and comprehensive.
supported main points
You provided reasonable reasons for why public transportation is beneficial, such as reducing carbon emissions and decreasing traffic congestion. This shows a fair understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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