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Band 5

In many parts of the world, there is not enough food for everyone. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#parts #world #food
Insufficient food become a problem in many countries. Having said that, many people can not
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their needs, which is food that contains
nutrion
Correct your spelling
nutrition
. The causes of
this
 issue are lack of water resources and the land is arid.
However
, there are some ways that the government can
do to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
tackle
this
 problem,
such
 as
doing import
Wrong verb form
importing
show examples
 meals from another
country
.
To begin
 with, the
country
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can not give sufficient
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
 to
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 citizens
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
because the environment
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not support it.
For example
, many
starving
Replace the word
starvation
show examples
 issues
was happen
Change the verb form
happened
show examples
 in African states
due to
 the
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 lack of water and
can not
Verb problem
inability to
show examples
 rely on
rainy
Correct article usage
the rainy
show examples
 season. By
this
, the plant and the animal can not produce well. The plant can not generate fruits and vegetables to consume.
Moreover
, the animal can not produce milk and its meat might not be
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good quality. So,
that is
 why a lot of states facing
this
 problem owing to the resources to produce foods
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 not produce well.
Nonetheless
, the government can implement an import policy. Nowadays, many countries
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
 to exchanging
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
products and services
one
Change preposition
with one
show examples
 another.
For instance
, one
country
 in Africa may not export food but they can change it with their manufactures to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
country
 that
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 advanced technology to produce it. In return, that
country
 can export
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
seeds to plant or rice and side dishes to citizens in Africa. So
as to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, both will get benefits from it and decrease case of shortage
foods
Change preposition
of foods
show examples
. In conclusion,
deficiency
Correct article usage
the deficiency
show examples
 of water resources and
condition
Correct article usage
the condition
show examples
 of the land
that is
 arid become reasons why people experience
this
 phenomenon.
On the other hand
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 solutions to it like doing import and export.
However
,
this
 is not
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 and only solution that the
country
 can adopt, the
country
 can consider
another ways
Replace the adjective
another way
other ways
show examples
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on the needs of the
country
.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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clear comprehensive ideas
To improve clarity, work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. This will make your arguments more compelling and easier to follow.
relevant specific examples
Try to provide more relevant and specific examples to reinforce your points. This can make your essay more compelling.
logical structure
Enhance coherence by using more linking phrases to connect your ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs.
complete response
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt and addresses both causes and solutions for food scarcity.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay.
supported main points
The main points are generally supported with examples and explanations, making the essay informative.

Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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