IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it is better to educate girls and boys in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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The idea of teaching boys and girls in a separated
school
Use synonyms
 it has a positive and negative points ,
also
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 the idea of mix the both sex in the same
school
Use synonyms
 it has
also
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 have some points of view. In
this
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 essay I will elaborate the points of view.
To begin
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 with , the thought of separating both sex is a crucial matter, pupils in
this
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 age are in a significant stage in their lives, the period of adolecent consider as a growing stage
consequently
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, their feelings are surging in emotion,
hence
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 it drafts them toward feelings in love and making relationships
as a result
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 of the hormonal disturbance
while
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, they are obligated in focusing in the studying,
For example
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:
school
Use synonyms
 in the rural witnessed a sexual relationships that makes them encourge the seperating teaching .
Furthermore
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, the mixture of boys and girls distract them
also
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 make them embarrassed.
On the other hand
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, the discussion of allowing the both sex in the same place has a benefit in break the borders between them
as well as
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 , it inhences the confidence inside the learning staff .
Additionally
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 it increases the compation spirit, leading to raise up the success level.
For instance
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: the international
school
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 ( smart
school
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) in the north of Iraq consider as a high
school
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 over the other schools, my nephew applied in
this
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school
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moreover
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, he has a group of boys and girls who are helping each other and studying together. To sum it up , the idea of mix or separate the different sexes are a controversial issue, some families prefer the mixture other obligate the separation.
According to
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 the environment where they are live and the their habits. My opinion is depend on the student's level and their tradition.

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grammar
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and avoiding common mistakes. Review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement and sentence structure.
logical structure
Enhance the logical structure of the essay. Each paragraph should clearly focus on a single idea, and transitions between ideas should be smooth and logical.
supporting main points
Ensure your ideas are fully developed and supported with sufficient examples and explanations. Avoid vague statements and expand on the main points presented.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and includes some relevant examples.
introduction conclusion
The introduction clearly mentions what the essay will discuss, and a conclusion is provided that summarizes the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • educate
  • separate schools
  • mixed schools
  • benefit
  • attending
  • advantages
  • focused
  • tailored education
  • reducing distractions
  • academic performance
  • gender-specific
  • learning needs
  • teaching methods
  • promotes
  • social interaction
  • real world
  • fosters
  • understanding
  • cooperation
  • healthy relationships
  • broader range
  • perspectives
  • experiences
  • combination
  • targeted learning environments
  • encouraging
  • social integration
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