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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The following two pie charts display the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 word

The following two pie charts display the results of a survey into the popularity of various leisure activities among European adults in 1985 and 1995. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 word
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The given pie charts display
recreational
Correct article usage
the recreational
show examples
 activities of European elders during the years
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1985 and 1995.
Overall
Linking Words
, in both periods of time, watching TV was the most preferrable activity among Europe citizens. Other aspects faced some special changes.
Moreover
Linking Words
, after a decade, people began playing computer pastimes a lot. As we can see, in 1985, adults used to watch TV a lot with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rate of 32%. Without
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 being so popular as of right now,
general
Correct article usage
the general
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 public communicated with their acquaintances a lot with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of 21% and 18% for each
friends
Change to a singular noun
friend
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 and family. 23% of them were amateurs
of
Change preposition
at
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 going out and
eat
Wrong verb form
eating
show examples
 some food and others had a different activity.
However
Linking Words
, in 1995, grown-up Europeans still spent much time in front of
television
Add an article
the television
show examples
 but with a minor decrease of 2%. Surprisingly, brand new activity took second place with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rating of 27% being virtual games.
Also
Linking Words
, we can see that people started to talk to their mates more often with a rise of 5% but unfortunately they interacted with their parents much less with a whopping percentage of 7%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, they went for eating out less with a decline of 15% and 2% of them chose other deeds.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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