Some people think it is not necessary for adults to receive education in class. Self-study is a good way for them to study more effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #adults #education #class #self-study #study

When

adults

choose to

study

, it is mostly for self-enrichment, for enjoyment or self-improvement, and not to work toward a vacation or degree. They have two opinions in front of them.

One

is to do

self-

study

through various resources

such

as the

internet

or libraries and the other is by enrolling in regular classes.

While

I agree that

self-

study

is more convenient for

adults

, a more effective approach would be to do

major

Add an article

the major

a major

show examples

part of the

study

one

’s own and top it up with a few days in the

classroom

. With the help of the

internet

Add a comma

internet,

show examples

self-

study

can be a very useful way to learn anything nowadays. There are thousands of resources available on the

internet

that can help

one

Change preposition

apply

show examples

traverse the ins and outs of any subject. Many sites

also

offer video tutorials. By utilizing the vast amounts of teaching resources

as well as

authentic materials,

such

official

Correct article usage

the official

show examples

online websites of some universities,

one

can really develop

one

’s skills independently.

Besides

the

internet

Add a comma

internet,

show examples

one

can purchase textbooks or borrow books from libraries that can help in learning about any subject.

Furthermore

self-

study

is considered better because many

adults

find it difficult to return to a

classroom

setting after spending years in the workplace. Many adult students

also

struggle to find the time to pursue education alongside their obligations at work and at home.

In addition

self-

study

requires very little finances and

one

can

also

look after family commitments.

On the other hand

, there are some disadvantages of

self-

study

To begin

with, it is difficult to remain focused on

study

one

can get bored or distracted very soon. The teachers in the

classroom

setting can keep

one

focused on

study

Secondly

while

doing

self-

study

, there are chances that

one

can

study

incorrectly.

Nonetheless

, for

adults

Add a comma

adults,

show examples

self-education is much more convenient as the

classroom

many

Correct your spelling

may

show examples

not be in an approachable location or the timing may not suit them. On

balance

Add a comma

balance,

show examples

it can be concluded that, as there are many barriers to adult education

such

as time, money and family commitments, I agree to quite some extent that

self-

study

is a good way for them.

However

, I would

also

like to say that the ideal approach would be to have a blend of

self-

study

and

classroom

learning.

Submitted by mohsen.souri93 on Wed Jul 24 2024

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relevant specific examples

Your essay meets the criteria well but can benefit from a more diverse range of specific examples to support your points. Try including case studies or personal anecdotes for stronger relevance.

clear comprehensive ideas

While your ideas are clear, adding transitional phrases can improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This ensures a smoother reading experience.

complete response

Your response is comprehensive, but occasionally, there are minor inaccuracies and awkward phrases. For instance, 'self-enrichment, for enjoyment or self-improvement' can be better phrased as 'self-enrichment, enjoyment, or self-improvement.' Pay attention to such details.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay offers a clear and solid introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument.

supported main points

The use of internet and library resources to highlight the convenience of self-study was well-explained and relevant.

logical structure

The essay maintains a logical structure throughout, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

378 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think it is not necessary for adults to receive education in class. Self-study is a good way for them to study more effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. write at least 250 words

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Agree or disagree.

The movement of people from agriculture areas to big cites has caused many problems at both places. What are the reasons for this problem and how can it be solved.