Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

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So far, science has been utilizing
animals
by means of examination,
however
,
this
situation is causing to violation of animal rights.
This
essay discusses alternative ways of experimentation without
animals
. Many people believe that , today several cosmetic
companies
are using
animals
moreover
, they are searching for the creatures .
For example
, during the process of perfume, the
animals
are being used in order to
emerge
Verb problem
have
show examples
a negative effect on perfume when will
be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
bought by people.
Also
, scientists are benefiting from
animals
such
as searching detrimental effects of vaccines. Even though that experiments
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
from
animals
are beneficial for humans , it is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
unethical and illegitimate issue. Because of that , animal associations must deal with
this
problem. Others argue that , all around the world governments should increase
taken
Verb problem
apply
show examples
measures to protect species of
animals
, especially endangered
animals
. İn addition, every person who loves
animals
can announce the eradication of species.
For instance
, people can refuse the usage of cosmetic products or reduce them.
Besides
, policymakers must prohibit experimentation on
animals
and they can give a penalty to
companies
which
damages
Change the verb form
damage
show examples
on creatures. When it comes to other alternatives , lots of
companies
have developed tech
therefore
they do not need to use
animals
for examinations
also
companies
can use other methods including 3-D visual reality . Even ıf many discoveries derived from the elimination of
animals
.
To conclude
, we have to respect
across
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
existing
Replace the word
existence
show examples
of creatures , and we must remember all
animals
contribute to ecological balance.
Submitted by kickbox191 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay should provide clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader and make your argument more logical.
task achievement
Try to develop your main points with more specific details and examples. For instance, describe specific technological alternatives that can replace animal testing.
general writing
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that slightly hinder clarity. For example: 'However, this situation is causing to violation of animal rights' could be written as 'However, this situation violates animal rights.'
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame the issue and provide closure.
task achievement
You’ve included relevant specific examples such as the use of animals in cosmetic testing and vaccine research.
task achievement
You’ve demonstrated a good attempt to address both sides of the argument, covering both the ethical concerns and the scientific benefits.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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