IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the price of fuel.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#price #fuel
Environment is the place where each one can live either people, animals or plants. They stay comfortable and enjoyable. I disagree with
this
 assumption, and the following essay will demonstrate
that
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apply
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some
another reasons
Replace the adjective
another reason
other reasons
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 to save the
environmental
Replace the word
environment
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 clean.
Firstly
, it is reasonable
that
Change preposition
to
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putting
Wrong verb form
put
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 litter in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 correct place. The
ministry
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Ministry
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 of
cleaning
Capitalize word
Cleaning
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for
Add the comma(s)
, for
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 instance,
it
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apply
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is
a
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apply
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responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
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of
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for
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this
 issue. Especially the time of Eid. Many people throw dirty of animals.Parents are good
to be
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at being
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 careful
as well as
 their children.
Secondly
, the fact that build
the
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apply
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factories far
a way
Correct your spelling
away
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 from homes. In order to avoid problems
such
 as mental health
also
 crowded roads. As a sample of Sohar
port
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Port
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. It is near the houses. Children born with different diseases.
Finally
,
using
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use
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 a few
of
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apply
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cars in each
hemes
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theme
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.
As a result
, to decrease the pollution. In most cases putting the trucks in a good place. In conclusion, I believe that not only putting bad things in cycle pins, companies make industrial materials but
also
 reduce using transportation in one area
due to
the
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apply
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environmental problems.
Submitted by moza53aljabri on

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task achievement
To improve your task response score, ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt with clear and comprehensive ideas. Consider discussing why increasing the price of fuel may or may not be effective and explore other methods in more detail.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, aim to structure your essay with clear and well-connected paragraphs. Use transitional words and phrases to help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
task achievement
Supporting your main points with relevant and specific examples will make your arguments stronger. Provide more detailed evidence and explanations to back up your views.
coherence cohesion
Revise your introduction to provide a clearer overview of your stance and the main points you will discuss. Ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and reaffirms your position.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reaffirms your position, which aids in understanding your overall argument.
task achievement
You touched on several important aspects of environmental issues, showing an understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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