IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this Write a letter to your manager. In your letter Explain why you want to take time off work Give details of the amount of time you need Suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

#company #time #work #manager #write #amount
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Dear
Sir
 /
Mme
, I am
wiriting
Correct your spelling
writing
this
 letter to inform you
Sir
 /
Mme
 that I need to take some time off
work
. In my letter, I present
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 you the reasons for my
demande
Correct your spelling
demand
 and how my
work
 could be covered
while
 I am away.
Firstly
,
Sir
 /
Mme
, I want to take a little vacancy because I have some problem in my heart.
Consequently
, the doctor
propose
Wrong verb form
proposed
show examples
 to me to take a break from
work
 and to repose
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 home.
Then
, my demand is a suggestion from my doctor.
Secondly
, I need to take
twoo
Correct your spelling
two
week
Fix the agreement mistake
weeks
show examples
 off
work
. If it is possible, I want to start my vacancy
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 weekend.
Then
, my vacancy will end
in
Change the preposition
on
show examples
 September 20th.
On the other hand
, in
this
 period , I want to make clear
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 you
Sir
/
Mme
, that my
work
 will be realised by my colleague in the team Mr Johan because he is my cousin and he will be able to take the important
work
 in my home and I help him to achieve the
work
.
Finally
, I hope gratefully to accept ,
Sir
/
Mme
 , my request and help me to increase the safety of my heart. Yours faithfully Rabeb
Submitted by rabebhamdi on

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coherence cohesion
Try to avoid repetition and redundancy within the letter. Words such as 'Sir/Mme' don't need to be repeated as often; instead, using just 'Sir' or 'Madam' will suffice after the first instance.
task achievement
Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, 'wiriting' should be 'writing', 'twoo' should be 'two', 'vacancy' should be 'vacation' or 'leave', and 'propose' should be 'suggested'. Improving accuracy will enhance the clarity of your letter.
task achievement
Consider describing how your colleague will manage your tasks in more detail for greater clarity. For example, mention specific responsibilities or how you will ensure a smooth transition of duties.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph expresses a single idea more clearly. This will help to make your letter more organized and easier to follow.
task achievement
The tone is polite and respectful, suitable for addressing a manager.
coherence cohesion
The letter follows a logical structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which makes it easy to understand the writer's request.
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