At the present time, populations of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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The waning trend of old
people
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and a corresponding increase in the number of young
adults
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in the total population of various countries has raised concerns surrounding whether
this
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situation is advantageous or not. Many aspects need to be considered for its benefits,
such
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as a skilled workforce or high productivity in order to boost the economic status. In my opinion, I agree with the idea that the advantages of
this
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issue outweigh the disadvantages. It is understandable why
people
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argue that a large number of elderly
people
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in the industry leads to higher production quality. Their years of experience have given them a deeper understanding and practical knowledge of how things work and how to ensure high-quality products. Older
workers
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also
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have an advantage over younger
workers
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in some fields.
For example
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, in many agricultural countries in Southeast Asia,
such
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as Vietnam, Malaysia, and Thailand, older
workers
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are predominantly employed in the sector
due to
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their extensive knowledge of crops, seasons, and consistency.
On the other hand
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, a nation can reap immense benefits from the copious amount of young
adults
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participating in the industry.
This
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workforce is crucial to production as they are educated and have acquired knowledge from their college majors.
Additionally
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, their adaptability and access to modern technology lead to a diverse and dynamic labour market.
This
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includes changing careers if the work environment is not suitable,
or
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apply
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adapting quickly to new jobs,
demonstrating
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and demonstrating
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enthusiasm, physical strength, and dynamism.
For example
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, the rapid growth of freelancing among young
adults
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, who are not bound by fixed schedules or monotonous work, and the increasing number of young
workers
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in manufacturing and hospitality in countries like the United States, Japan, and China, illustrate
this
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point.
Therefore
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, it significantly boosts productivity and benefits the nation's economy.
While
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the advantages of the elderly workforce are undeniable, younger labour is proven to be more dynamic and adaptable to the industry.
While
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older
people
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can maintain a sustainable career in fields like agriculture
due to
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their real-life experience, young
adults
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demonstrate higher levels of enthusiasm and flexibility in fields involving technology and manufacturing. In conclusion, the impact of young generations has precise promises to a nation’s economy and productivity; for that reason, the advantages of
this
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situation arguably outweigh the drawbacks.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and stick to it. Sometimes the introduction of examples can feel slightly off-topic, so focus on making them seamlessly integrate into your argument.
task achievement
You can provide more depth in your analysis of both viewpoints. While the essay does present both sides, diving deeper into how and why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples strengthens the arguments and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced perspective before concluding that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
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