At the present time, populations of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
The waning trend of old
people
and a corresponding increase in the number of young adults
in the total population of various countries has raised concerns surrounding whether this
situation is advantageous or not. Many aspects need to be considered for its benefits, such
as a skilled workforce or high productivity in order to boost the economic status. In my opinion, I agree with the idea that the advantages of this
issue outweigh the disadvantages.
It is understandable why people
argue that a large number of elderly people
in the industry leads to higher production quality. Their years of experience have given them a deeper understanding and practical knowledge of how things work and how to ensure high-quality products. Older workers
also
have an advantage over younger workers
in some fields. For example
, in many agricultural countries in Southeast Asia, such
as Vietnam, Malaysia, and Thailand, older workers
are predominantly employed in the sector due to
their extensive knowledge of crops, seasons, and consistency.
On the other hand
, a nation can reap immense benefits from the copious amount of young adults
participating in the industry. This
workforce is crucial to production as they are educated and have acquired knowledge from their college majors. Additionally
, their adaptability and access to modern technology lead to a diverse and dynamic labour market. This
includes changing careers if the work environment is not suitable, or
adapting quickly to new jobs, Correct word choice
apply
demonstrating
enthusiasm, physical strength, and dynamism. Correct word choice
and demonstrating
For example
, the rapid growth of freelancing among young adults
, who are not bound by fixed schedules or monotonous work, and the increasing number of young workers
in manufacturing and hospitality in countries like the United States, Japan, and China, illustrate this
point. Therefore
, it significantly boosts productivity and benefits the nation's economy.
While
the advantages of the elderly workforce are undeniable, younger labour is proven to be more dynamic and adaptable to the industry. While
older people
can maintain a sustainable career in fields like agriculture due to
their real-life experience, young adults
demonstrate higher levels of enthusiasm and flexibility in fields involving technology and manufacturing. In conclusion, the impact of young generations has precise promises to a nation’s economy and productivity; for that reason, the advantages of this
situation arguably outweigh the drawbacks.Submitted by hawtzvnq on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and stick to it. Sometimes the introduction of examples can feel slightly off-topic, so focus on making them seamlessly integrate into your argument.
task achievement
You can provide more depth in your analysis of both viewpoints. While the essay does present both sides, diving deeper into how and why the advantages outweigh the disadvantages will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples strengthens the arguments and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced perspective before concluding that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
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