today many people work until a later age. do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #work #age #outweigh

In many parts of the world, people are still working after retirement

age

. Some argue that continuing to work, and

therefore

not being a financial burden on family members or society, is good ,

while

others believe it would be better for the elderly to enjoy their golden years and make way for younger

workers

. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages to working

into

Change preposition

show examples

old

age

. Longer working

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

bring benefits for both individuals and wider society. For

workers

themselves, the most obvious benefit is that they stay physically and mentally active,

while

at the same time, earning money that

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

them financially stable or at least much less of a burden on their family or the government.

Besides

that, the knowledge, skills, and experience they have accumulated can be shared with younger colleagues. A third point in favour concerns countries with falling birth rates , leading to potential labour shortages. In Japan,

for example

, a sizable proportion of the workforce is aged over 65. If

this

age

group is employed, productivity levels can be maintained. Among the drawbacks, older

workers

Change noun form

workers'

show examples

diminishing enthusiasm is often viewed warily by employers. To

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

we could add their potential lack of ability to successfully keep up with the pace of technological change.

However

, it could be argued that sharing different skill sets with younger

workers

might negate the disadvantages. There is

also

the danger that an older workforce will hinder the development of young talent if they are not allowed sufficient work opportunities.

Nevertheless

, any organisation with

the

Correct article usage

show examples

view of the future should be able to prevent that from happening. people are living longer, and increasing numbers remain employed well beyond retirement

age

Although

there are downsides to

this

trend, I believe that they are outweighed by the advantages to both the individual and society.

Submitted by tarteeidris on Sat Aug 17 2024

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task achievement

Ensure consistency in tense usage throughout the essay to enhance readability.

coherence cohesion

Incorporate varied sentence structures to maintain reader interest and showcase linguistic proficiency.

coherence cohesion

Conclude each paragraph with a clear sentence that ties back to the main argument, to improve overall coherence.

task achievement

The essay presents a well-rounded discussion, considering multiple perspectives on the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.

coherence cohesion

Logical progression of ideas throughout the essay aids in maintaining clarity and coherence.

task achievement

Effective use of examples, such as Japan's aging workforce, to support the main points discussed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

306 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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today many people work until a later age. do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of fitness are decreasing. what do you think are the cause of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that governments are responsible for dealing with environmental issues. other people believe that it is the individual's responsibility to take action to protect the environment.