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today many people work until a later age. do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #work #age #outweigh
In many parts of the world, people are still working after retirement
age
. Some argue that continuing to work, and
therefore
 not being a financial burden on family members or society, is good ,
while
 others believe it would be better for the elderly to enjoy their golden years and make way for younger
workers
. In my opinion, there are more advantages than disadvantages to working
into
Change preposition
in
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 old
age
. Longer working
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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 bring benefits for both individuals and wider society. For
workers
 themselves, the most obvious benefit is that they stay physically and mentally active,
while
 at the same time, earning money that
make
Change the verb form
makes
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 them financially stable or at least much less of a burden on their family or the government.
Besides
 that, the knowledge, skills, and experience they have accumulated can be shared with younger colleagues. A third point in favour concerns countries with falling birth rates , leading to potential labour shortages. In Japan,
for example
, a sizable proportion of the workforce is aged over 65. If
this
age
 group is employed, productivity levels can be maintained. Among the drawbacks, older
workers
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workers'
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 diminishing enthusiasm is often viewed warily by employers. To
that
Add a comma
that,
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 we could add their potential lack of ability to successfully keep up with the pace of technological change.
However
, it could be argued that sharing different skill sets with younger
workers
 might negate the disadvantages. There is
also
 the danger that an older workforce will hinder the development of young talent if they are not allowed sufficient work opportunities.
Nevertheless
, any organisation with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 view of the future should be able to prevent that from happening. people are living longer, and increasing numbers remain employed well beyond retirement
age
 .
Although
 there are downsides to
this
 trend, I believe that they are outweighed by the advantages to both the individual and society.
Submitted by tarteeidris on

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task achievement
Ensure consistency in tense usage throughout the essay to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate varied sentence structures to maintain reader interest and showcase linguistic proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Conclude each paragraph with a clear sentence that ties back to the main argument, to improve overall coherence.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-rounded discussion, considering multiple perspectives on the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.
coherence cohesion
Logical progression of ideas throughout the essay aids in maintaining clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Effective use of examples, such as Japan's aging workforce, to support the main points discussed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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