In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In the contemporary
world
, it is a fact that imported products
have become demonstrably more prevalent in supermarkets, extending buyers’ options from all over the world
. In my opinion, this
trend offers a number of significant benefits, which I will explain in detail in the succeeding paragraphs.
First and foremost, expanding the food
assortment to foreign products
potentially leads to better health for citizens living in those areas. When there are more available products
for consumers, they have more choices to diversify their dishes. This
improvement translates to a better flavor
to trigger all family members to have a better taste. Change the spelling
flavour
Moreover
, a variety of foods also
provide more nutritious meals, improving their balanced diet, especially with
some Change preposition
in
countries
that do not have suitable natural conditions to supply sufficient food
for themselves. For instance
, in the past, in some frozen areas in Canada, they only could sustain themselves based on dry food
or some kind of fish they could catch in that season, leading to the lack of several kinds of essential vitamins and increasing the risk of facing weaker immune systems. Now, with the ease of importing food
from other countries
, they can now more easily fulfill
a sufficient diet throughout the year with foreign supplement Change the spelling
fulfil
food
which are
not able to be produced in their national land. Apparently, prevalent foreign Change the verb form
is
food
products
in
Change preposition
on
the
supermarket shelves Correct article usage
apply
shows
the benefits to Change the verb form
show
the
Correct article usage
apply
overall
human health over
the Rephrase
all over
world
.
Moreover
, the rise in selling and buying imported foods is a positive factor propelling the economy for export countries
or companies. Increasing demand from international markets helps them expand their potential consumer base, which will result in the
growth in their sales revenue and even in profit. Correct article usage
apply
This
may be followed by a higher job vacancy in this
industry and decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
the
unemployment rate. Change preposition
in the
Furthermore
, if a rise in exports is enough to keep the
positive trade balance, it can boost that country’s GDP. Eventually, Correct article usage
a
this
is a good chance for many nations to push their economy to grow faster and at the same time enhance their social issues relating to employment.
In conclusion, the trend in which more and more people can buy food
products
over
the Rephrase
all over
world
from their close supermarket shelves is undeniably beneficial to not only the citizen
living in that area in Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
term
of standard of living and health, but Fix the agreement mistake
terms
also
to the export countries
, when they have a better chance to improve their GDP and employment rate.Submitted by nguyenthihongduc109 on
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task achievement
The essay presents a complete and relevant response to the task, addressing both positive benefits for consumers and economic advantages for exporting countries. However, the essay could be further strengthened by addressing potential drawbacks or counterarguments to provide a more balanced perspective.
task achievement
While the ideas are clear and comprehensive, some sentences are quite complex and could benefit from simplification to improve clarity. Additionally, revising sentences to avoid redundancy would make the writing more concise.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure is well-maintained throughout the essay. However, linking words and phrases could be more varied to enhance the overall cohesiveness and flow of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding a few transitional phrases and connectors to ensure smooth flow between paragraphs and ideas. This can help guide the reader naturally through the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets up the essay well, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed.
task achievement
The essay uses a variety of relevant examples to support the main points, particularly the example about Canada and its food supply, which adds depth to the argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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