IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You work in an international company. You need to take some time off work. Write a letter to your employer. In your letter: explain why you need this time off give details of when you want this time off say who can do your work when you are away

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Dear Sir, I am an employee of your company's technical support department, and, I have been working in your company for ten years in the same company,
last
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 month, my manager promoted me to Team leader. I writing
this
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 letter to take time off for
two
Use synonyms
 months because My mother has brain cancer and she has been admitted to the hospital for her surgery. Doctors diagnosed
this
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 symptom
two
Use synonyms
 days ago and advised her to get treatment as soon as possible. The treatment will be started by tomorrow and my sister will take care of my mom until she gets discharged from the hospital. After ten days, I will need to be at home, because, she needs bed rest for
two
Use synonyms
 months and I will need to take care of her for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and medicines. So, I need time off from
this
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 10th of August. I understand it is not easy for you to pile up the office work for the next
two
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 months,
however
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, I requested one of my colleagues to take full responsibility for clients and I will give him training for the next ten days.
Lastly
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, you will not need to worry about my Technical support department. I am looking forward to hearing from you. yours faithfully XYZ

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coherence cohesion
While the letter does cover all the necessary points, the structure can be improved for greater clarity. Make sure each paragraph has a single idea and use transitions between them for a smoother flow.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases. For example, 'after ten days, I will need to be at home, because, she needs bed rest for two months.' This could be clearer as 'After ten days, she will need bed rest for two months, during which I will have to care for her.'
task achievement
Ensure that all important details about the timing are clear. Although the date '10th of August' is mentioned, specifying the exact duration until your return would be helpful for your employer.
task achievement
You have effectively explained the reasons for needing time off and have provided a reasonable solution for managing responsibilities in your absence.
task achievement
The tone is polite and suitable for a formal letter to an employer, which is very appropriate for this type of communication.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • requesting time off
  • minimal disruption
  • capable colleague
  • cover responsibilities
  • workload management
  • urgent tasks
  • accessible
  • considering your request
  • contribute more effectively
  • appreciate
  • temporary absence
  • proactive planning
  • smooth transition
  • alternative arrangement
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