In many countries, the average life expectancy has been increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

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In many nations,
life
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expectancy
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has been growing .
This
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essay will discuss some issues associated with increasing
life
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expectancy
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and explore possible resolutions to decrease the effect of
this
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matter.
To begin
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with, expanding
life
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expectancy
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has several drawbacks that should be taken into account properly.
First,
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the demand in the
country
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will decrease because more
people
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need money
due to
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the rising
life
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expectancy
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.
For example
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, a
country
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should spend to providing shelter, health care, and nutrition for its
people
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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phenomenon has a crucial impact on the financial capacity of a nation.
Additionally
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, In terms of individuals, because of the vast differences between the young and senior generations cultural conflict is inevitable. To address
this
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issue , a
country
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should organize its budget to sustain more
people
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's needs.
Likewise
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, the adverse effects of the ageing
population
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may be reduced by encouraging
people
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to give less birth.
For instance
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, China is a
country
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that has a convenient policy for diminishing the negative consequences of the ageing
population
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.
Moreover
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, it is
also
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essential to collaborate with the young and older generations to overcome cultural conflicts. In conclusion,
ageing
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the ageing
an ageing
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population
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has many disadvantages for society and individuals. The expenditures of a
country
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may not be enough to meet more
people
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's needs.
Also
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, engaging in cultural conflicts from different generations may have devasting results for individuals. I would recommend having control of the birth rate which is the naturalised
population
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of the
country
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.
This
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approach has a positive effect on the demand of a
country
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that they do not have to spend money on more
people
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.
Submitted by Yasar Khan on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps to present your ideas logically. However, some of your arguments, particularly concerning the solutions, would benefit from more development and specific examples. Consider elaborating further on how budget organization and encouraging lower birth rates can reduce the impact of an aging population, providing real-world examples where possible.
Task Achievement
You effectively identified the problems related to increasing life expectancy and suggested measures to address these issues. To improve your task response, ensure that the ideas are fully developed with relevant examples for more clarity. For instance, when discussing cultural conflicts, you might mention specific scenarios or studies illustrating how different generations interact and the outcomes of these interactions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear and coherent structure with a logical progression of ideas.
Task Achievement
You have successfully addressed both parts of the prompt by discussing problems and proposing solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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