In many countries, the average life expectancy has been increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
In many nations,
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
has been growing . Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss some issues associated with increasing Linking Words
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
and explore possible resolutions to decrease the effect of Use synonyms
this
matter.
Linking Words
To begin
with, expanding Linking Words
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
has several drawbacks that should be taken into account properly. Use synonyms
First,
the demand in the Linking Words
country
will decrease because more Use synonyms
people
need money Use synonyms
due to
the rising Linking Words
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
. Use synonyms
For example
, a Linking Words
country
should spend to providing shelter, health care, and nutrition for its Use synonyms
people
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Linking Words
this
phenomenon has a crucial impact on the financial capacity of a nation.
Linking Words
Additionally
, In terms of individuals, because of the vast differences between the young and senior generations cultural conflict is inevitable.
To address Linking Words
this
issue , a Linking Words
country
should organize its budget to sustain more Use synonyms
people
's needs. Use synonyms
Likewise
, the adverse effects of the ageing Linking Words
population
may be reduced by encouraging Use synonyms
people
to give less birth. Use synonyms
For instance
, China is a Linking Words
country
that has a convenient policy for diminishing the negative consequences of the ageing Use synonyms
population
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, it is Linking Words
also
essential to collaborate with the young and older generations to overcome cultural conflicts.
In conclusion, Linking Words
ageing
Add an article
the ageing
an ageing
population
has many disadvantages for society and individuals. The expenditures of a Use synonyms
country
may not be enough to meet more Use synonyms
people
's needs. Use synonyms
Also
, engaging in cultural conflicts from different generations may have devasting results for individuals. I would recommend having control of the birth rate which is the naturalised Linking Words
population
of the Use synonyms
country
. Use synonyms
This
approach has a positive effect on the demand of a Linking Words
country
that they do not have to spend money on more Use synonyms
people
.Use synonyms
Submitted by Yasar Khan on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps to present your ideas logically. However, some of your arguments, particularly concerning the solutions, would benefit from more development and specific examples. Consider elaborating further on how budget organization and encouraging lower birth rates can reduce the impact of an aging population, providing real-world examples where possible.
Task Achievement
You effectively identified the problems related to increasing life expectancy and suggested measures to address these issues. To improve your task response, ensure that the ideas are fully developed with relevant examples for more clarity. For instance, when discussing cultural conflicts, you might mention specific scenarios or studies illustrating how different generations interact and the outcomes of these interactions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear and coherent structure with a logical progression of ideas.
Task Achievement
You have successfully addressed both parts of the prompt by discussing problems and proposing solutions.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example