IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, there has been considerable debate about whether it is practical or beneficial for countries to offer
university
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education
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 to a large percentage of young
people
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. I strongly agree with the idea that neither the feasibility nor the usefulness of providing higher
education
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 to a vast majority of youths is realistic.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons related to financial constraints and the need for
prioritizing
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prioritising
show examples
 diverse vocational opportunities. First and foremost, the cost of expanding
university
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 places to accommodate a high proportion of young generations can be extraordinarily high. Funding universities involves substantial expenditure in infrastructure, qualified staff salaries, research facilities, and supportive services. For many countries, especially developing ones, allocating
such
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 significant resources exclusively to higher
education
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 may lead to neglect in other vital sectors like healthcare, primary
education
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, or public infrastructure.
Consequently
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,
this
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 financial burden often makes it impossible to provide
university
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education
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 to all young
people
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 without compromising other essential public services.
Moreover
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, focusing strongly on increasing
university
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 enrollment might not be the most useful approach for a country’s socioeconomic development. Not all young
people
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 aspire to or benefit from academic
education
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; some excel in vocational
education
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, technical skills, or apprenticeships that are essential for sectors like manufacturing, agriculture, and services. By diversifying educational opportunities, governments can better address
labor
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labour
show examples
 market demands and reduce youth unemployment. Encouraging alternative career paths rather than pushing everyone toward a
university
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 degree ensures a more balanced and practical workforce. In conclusion,
although
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 higher
education
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 is valuable, it is neither feasible nor always practical for countries to provide
university
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 places for a very large proportion of young
people
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. Governments should
instead
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 focus on strategic investments that balance the costs and the varied needs of their population, ensuring both economic progress and individual career success.

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structure and content
Add more depth to each point. Give one or two more facts or ideas that show the link to life or work.
coherence
Use clear link words to show how ideas go from one to the next.
examples
Give one or two real examples to show how money and jobs can be better with other paths than many uni spots.
vocabulary and grammar
Keep sentences short. Use simple words to keep band high.
task-response
Make sure the task is fully answered. State how far you agree and why.
content
The writer shows a clear view and stays on the topic.
content
Two main ideas are used: cost and use of jobs.
structure
Good start to the essay and clear closing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • oversaturation
  • disillusionment
  • vocational training
  • resources
  • funding
  • labor market
  • innovation
  • development
  • mixed approach
  • quality education
  • proportion
  • graduate unemployment
  • overqualification
  • credentials
  • higher education
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