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Band 8

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Others think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Others think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion. Some argue that the public has stopped paying attention to commercials because they have become too banal. From my point of view, I believe that advertising still influences customers' decisions;
however
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, in
this
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 essay, I will look at both sides of the dilemma.
Firstly
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, the purpose of advertising is to attract desire from buyers, which increases demand in the market. Profit in the market serves as the main motivation for companies to continue creating a variety of advertising. If advertising were truly unsuccessful, no company would invest in it;
however
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, the abundance of advertising today serves as proof of its effectiveness.
Secondly
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, some announcements are very successful in creating exciting scenes.
For example
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, some perfume manufacturers release broadcasts in which a girl enjoys the exquisite subtle notes of essential oils of musk, amber, and resin, among majestic mountains and the azure sea, causing a feeling of admiration or joy in customers. These emotions significantly influence the crowd's decisions, convincing them to buy advertised products.
On the other hand
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, some nations doubt the usefulness of advertising
due to
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 its excessive prevalence in our world. In
this
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 fast-paced society, the public may ignore various displays.
Also
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, some announcements are too long and distracting
while
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 watching movies.
Thus
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, the significant amount of advertising and the modern lifestyle of nations pose serious problems for advertising.
However
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, if a company can create short posters with innovative ideas, the advertisement can still be effective. In conclusion, advertising may not be eye-catching if certain problems are not addressed.
However
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, in my opinion, with creativity and careful production, advertising can achieve enormous success and influence the population's purchasing decisions.
Submitted by moon2014angel on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clearer structure to present both sides of the argument more distinctly. For instance, separate paragraphs for each viewpoint would enhance readability.
task achievement
Expand the range of examples to support your arguments to make them more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses both points of view and provides a clear stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-crafted, providing a thorough outline and a strong closing statement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical flow, ensuring that the reader can easily follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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