At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
In recent years, the demographics of young
people
have seen a significant rise
compared to elderly people
. While
there are certain disadvantages of this
trend, this
essay will explain why I believe these are outweighed by its potential advantages such
as a strong young workforce and a boost in the economy.
To begin
with the negatives of the rise
in the youngster population , one of the most concerning impacts is employment opportunities. If a country
does not have enough jobs, it can seriously affect confidence in youth, as they look forward to earning and supporting their families and dreams of having a successful life. This
suggests a related problem where they may end up doing jobs that they do not like due to
scarcity of good opportunities and may even start to hate it. For example
, in my country
, since there are not enough opportunities, my elder brother, who is highly educated is working as a poem in an organization to meet his financial needs. To make matters worse, sometimes, people
continue with their lives like this
. Thus
, there are some drawbacks to increasing the population of young adults if a country
is not prepared for it.
However
, there are also
positives to it if a country
has planned, a significant advantage is that a strong young workforce can be an asset. The growth of a country
is completely dependent on the growth of its people
, and the more working people
, the more prosperous a country
can become. Not only this
, but more working youngsters also
mean more taxes which will indirectly contribute to the welfare of the elderly. This
is a circle which can boost the economy of a country
. For example
, China is one of the top economies in work owing to its young workers and ample work options like software, manufacturing , infrastructure and so on. Furthermore
, Canada is also
supporting the immigration of skilled workers and labourers to close the shortage of young workforce. So, if a country
is well prepared, they can cash up on the rise
of new working people
.
In conclusion, despite the harms which the rise
in young adults might present, such
as unemployment and dissatisfaction, my view is that these disadvantages can easily be overcome if the country
is prepared in advance in comparison with the benefits of a strong working force and a boost in the economy.Submitted by mbasheerdange on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. This helps to clarify the structure of the essay and guides the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences might benefit from further clarification or breaking down into simpler parts. This will enhance comprehension and provide clearer arguments.
task achievement
You might want to more explicitly compare the advantages and disadvantages in the conclusion to reinforce your stance that the positives outweigh the negatives.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of your essay effectively frame your argument, clearly presenting the topic and your stance on it.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of the situation.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the situation in China and Canada, help to illustrate your points effectively.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.
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