At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

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In recent years, the demographics of young

people

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have seen a significant

rise

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compared to elderly

people

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While

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there are certain disadvantages of

this

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trend,

this

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essay will explain why I believe these are outweighed by its potential advantages

such

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as a strong young workforce and a boost in the economy.

To begin

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with the negatives of the

rise

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in the youngster population , one of the most concerning impacts is employment opportunities. If a

country

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does not have enough jobs, it can seriously affect confidence in youth, as they look forward to earning and supporting their families and dreams of having a successful life.

This

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suggests a related problem where they may end up doing jobs that they do not like

due to

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scarcity of good opportunities and may even start to hate it.

For example

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, in my

country

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, since there are not enough opportunities, my elder brother, who is highly educated is working as a poem in an organization to meet his financial needs. To make matters worse, sometimes,

people

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continue with their lives like

this

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Thus

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, there are some drawbacks to increasing the population of young adults if a

country

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is not prepared for it.

However

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, there are

also

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positives to it if a

country

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has planned, a significant advantage is that a strong young workforce can be an asset. The growth of a

country

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is completely dependent on the growth of its

people

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, and the more working

people

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, the more prosperous a

country

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can become. Not only

this

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, but more working youngsters

also

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mean more taxes which will indirectly contribute to the welfare of the elderly.

This

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is a circle which can boost the economy of a

country

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For example

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, China is one of the top economies in work owing to its young workers and ample work options like software, manufacturing , infrastructure and so on.

Furthermore

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, Canada is

also

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supporting the immigration of skilled workers and labourers to close the shortage of young workforce. So, if a

country

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is well prepared, they can cash up on the

rise

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of new working

people

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. In conclusion, despite the harms which the

rise

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in young adults might present,

such

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as unemployment and dissatisfaction, my view is that these disadvantages can easily be overcome if the

country

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is prepared in advance in comparison with the benefits of a strong working force and a boost in the economy.

Submitted by mbasheerdange on Fri Nov 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. This helps to clarify the structure of the essay and guides the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences might benefit from further clarification or breaking down into simpler parts. This will enhance comprehension and provide clearer arguments.

task achievement

You might want to more explicitly compare the advantages and disadvantages in the conclusion to reinforce your stance that the positives outweigh the negatives.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion of your essay effectively frame your argument, clearly presenting the topic and your stance on it.

task achievement

Your essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of the situation.

task achievement

Relevant examples, such as the situation in China and Canada, help to illustrate your points effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

398 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Word Count

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It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

Some believe that violent computer games are just a form of entertainment, while others think they lead directly to violent behavior. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. (279)

In a number of countries around the world, income inequality is a growing issue. What are the causes of income inequality and how it can be dealt with?