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Band 5

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

#world #life #expectancy #individuals #society #measures #impact #populations
Average
life
 expectancy is a number that usually we use to identify the quality of
life
 in a nation,
whereas
 in developing countries
this
 number expectedly will rise. In
this
 essay, I will discuss several matters that will appear and prevention which must occur
due to
 these problems. Higher
life
 expectancy means there will be more elderly population which
is giving
Wrong verb form
will have
show examples
 a huge impact
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the career world in a country because there will be a
generation
 gap for their productive age group.
This
 situation will ruin the economic sector because there will be only a small population that has an active income to turn the wheels of the economy.
In addition
, there will be a hike in
life
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 because of supporting health exes that continue to rise
due to
 more elderly people living in these countries. There are many options which we can choose to minimize these problems.
Firstly
, the government can help by giving a free education fee or birth expenses for productive age groups because it can help them to decrease the opportunity to lose
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 next
generation
 that will fill their position.
Then
,
the next step is
 opening a new opportunity for internationals to work because it can support their productive age group so there will be no
generation
 gap
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
To sum up
, the rising
life
 expectancy will create a
generation
 gap and
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
 cost of living,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 there are steps we can take to minimize these problems
such
 as opening work opportunities for internationals and giving generous compensation for education and birth.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to reinforce your points. For instance, mention specific programs or policies that have been effective in countries facing similar issues.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly focuses on a single main idea. This will help maintain a logical structure and make your argument more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Avoid using overly complex sentences that can confuse the reader. Simple, clear sentences often have a greater impact.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure to the response.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic effectively, discussing both the problems and suggesting measures to counter the impacts of an ageing population.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average life expectancy
  • developed world
  • increase
  • individuals
  • society
  • personal goals
  • ambitions
  • quality of life
  • leisure
  • recreation
  • healthcare costs
  • challenges
  • healthcare system
  • ageing population
  • shortage
  • available workers
  • economy
  • retirement planning
  • healthy lifestyles
  • investing
  • social support systems
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