The two pie charts illustrate the online shopping sales for retail sections in Canada in 2005 compared to the rates in 2010.

The two pie charts illustrate the online shopping sales for retail sections in Canada in 2005 compared to the rates in 2010. It is apparently seen that food & beverage and video games have experienced a

raise

Correct your spelling

rise

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

contrast to electronics & appliances and home furnishings.

For example

video

Correct article usage

the video

show examples

games section got a mere 5 per

cent

increase ,

meanwhile

Add a comma

meanwhile,

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home furnishings got through an adverse trend by dropping ten per

cent

off. The numbers were 23% and fifteen per

cent

respectively.

Moreover

, food

supplies'

Change noun form

supplies

show examples

sales

rised

Correct your spelling

rose

raised

rise

slightly

for

Change preposition

show examples

up to ten per

cent

in five years

whilist

Correct your spelling

while

electronic

Replace the word

electronics

show examples

& appliances shows an adverse trend and

declines

Wrong verb form

declined

show examples

five per

cent

of the

retail's

Change noun form

retail

show examples

sales rate. It is worth noticing that despite the changes none of the above has had a considerate

raise

Correct your spelling

rise

show examples

or decline.

Submitted by dnm.best on Thu Jul 25 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "declines" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

133 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The two pie charts illustrate the online shopping sales for retail sections in Canada in 2005 compared to the rates in 2010.

These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this? How could more people be encouraged to come into the teaching profession?

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up." To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that a country will benefit greatly by a high percentage of young people going to universities. Others argue that it only leads to a higher unemployment rate. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.