Access to computers has increased rapidly today, so the number of children playing computer games has risen too. This essay will discuss the main issue associated with this situation and propose some possible solutions to avoid them.

Access to computers has increased rapidly today, so the number of children playing computer games has risen too.
This
essay will discuss the main
issue
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issues
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associated with
this
situation and propose some possible solutions to avoid them. One of the biggest
dilemma
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dilemmas
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is the influence of games on the kids' socialization. They may become socially isolated as they spend more time in a virtual world rather than participating in face-to-face interactions with friends.
Additionally
, frequent meetings with violent or inappropriate content in some games can normalize violence in youngsters and negatively impact their behaviour. What's more, prolonged screen
day
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days
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can badly affect kids' health. It can contribute to sedentary lifestyles, which may lead to health complications
such
as obesity and scoliosis. In my opinion, the best solution to
this
problem is parental guidance and limit setting. Parents play a crucial role in monitoring their kids' gaming habits and setting appropriate limits. They should make clear rules with minimum cover
day
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days
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and encourage a healthy balance between gaming and other activities
such
as outdoor play, reading, and socializing.
Moreover
, education about computer game addiction can be another excellent example of solving
this
problem. Schools can integrate digital literacy programs that educate children about responsible gaming practices and the potential risks associated with excessive cover
point
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points
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. In conclusion, children's computer game addiction causes a lot of health troubles, including obesity, scoliosis and mental illnesses. The most effective solution is promoting an active lifestyle and limiting screen time by parents.
Submitted by moon2014angel on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, ensure that each paragraph flows naturally to the next. Consider using transitional phrases to guide the reader smoothly between ideas.
task achievement
While your essay addresses the question, adding more specific examples and evidence to support your points would strengthen your argument. For instance, reference studies on the effects of gaming on health or provide statistics on children's gaming habits.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by providing more detail and explanation. Make sure each point is fully elaborated to demonstrate a thorough understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and what your essay will discuss. This sets clear expectations for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers solutions, giving a strong end to your essay.
task achievement
You have effectively identified multiple issues related to children's increased gaming, such as social isolation, normalization of violence, and health impacts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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