"Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? (Reported 2017, 2018, 2020, 2021)"

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, many
parents
are putting a lot of
pressure
on their
children
to succeed.
This
is because of increased competition, society's expectations, and the desire for a better future.
However
,
this
pressure
can have both positive and negative effects. One reason
parents
pressure
their
children
is the competitive nature of today's world. With many people fighting for good jobs,
parents
push their
children
to do well in school and extracurricular activities to stand out. Society
also
values
success
based on good grades, prestigious careers, and financial stability, making
parents
set high expectations for their kids.
Parents
also
believe that pushing their
children
will ensure a better future. They think
success
brings happiness and stability, so they feel responsible for guiding their
children
towards these goals.
This
drive is especially strong in cultures where education is highly valued as the key to moving up in society. The effects of
this
pressure
can be mixed. On the positive side, it can motivate
children
to work hard and develop a strong work ethic. Some
children
thrive under
pressure
and achieve great
success
, gaining confidence along the way.
However
, too much
pressure
can lead to stress, anxiety, and burnout, harming
children
's mental health and making them unhappy.
Constant
Add an article
The constant
show examples
pressure
to be perfect can
also
stop
children
from being creative and exploring their own interests, as they focus only on meeting their
parents
' expectations. In conclusion,
while
parents
pressure
their
children
with good intentions, it can have both positive and negative effects. It is important for
parents
to find a balance, encouraging their
children
to do their best without harming their mental health and personal growth. A supportive and nurturing environment is more likely to lead to well-rounded
success
for
children
.
Submitted by nguyenvuthaison3005 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure to provide more specific examples to illustrate points. For instance, citing real-world scenarios or case studies can strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured, consider using transition words and phrases such as 'for instance', 'moreover', or 'consequently' to enhance the flow between paragraphs and ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to briefly address the counterarguments or alternative views to show a well-rounded analysis of the topic.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies the primary reasons for parental pressure and discusses both positive and negative consequences, demonstrating a strong understanding of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear, and both function effectively to frame the discussion, providing a cohesive structure.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical progression of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument from start to finish.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
What to do next:
Look at other essays: